November 2007

Hello! It’s me again!
Tel: 01506 873013www.drewmcadam.co.ukHi, how are you? In great spirits, I hope. Here is the NOVEMBER 2007 Newsletter.(If you receive this it's because we've had some dealings in the past, you're a personal friend, or because you've expressed an interest in receiving the newsletter… or all of the above. However, if you have no wish to receive further issues - just hit reply and enter "unsubscribe" in the subject box. I won't take offence!)
www.drewmcadam.co.uk

Before we start: If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

THE BESTEST CHRISTMAS PRESENT EVER – AND NO MISTAKE
Still trying to think of something REALLY different for a Christmas Present? Check THIS out: www.sled-dogs.co.uk. (And in particular, watch the TV video which opens automatically – it will give you some idea of what it’s like). I had a gig in Aviemore, and took the opportunity to spend part of the day with one of the most fascinating people I have ever met – ALAN STEWART who runs the Cairngorm Sleddog Adventure Centre – and what an adventure we had! Pulled by a team of 12 Huskies, with Alan enthusing over the activity and explaining his training methods, we rattled through forest and along the edges of the moorland below the frowning heights of The Cairngorm Mountains. You can’t experience it without a silly big grin on your face – guaranteed. Can you imagine?

You just HAVE to visit this place. It’s remote. It’s cold. It’s wild. But Alan and his wife Fiona are the perfect hosts – it’s a real pleasure to be in their company. He is so enthusiastic about his “hobby”, though I would think that looking after more than 30 dogs is a full time job. The dogs can’t run when it’s warm, so Alan returns to his “real job” as a saturation diver for three months each year; so you would be wise to book your place now, while the snow is coming and before it thaws.

Like I said, I bet YOU know somebody who would love to do that – a perfect Christmas gift, don’cha think?

Xxx

Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

xxx

ALL THAT TIME WASTED ON LEARNING TO SPELL!
I cduol not blveiee taht I cluod auctulaly udeunatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? And I awlyas tohghut slpeling was ipmorantt.

Xxx

ANOTHER AWARD
Congratulations to my manager, DOUGLAS GILLESPIE and his trusty team at the ENTERTAINERS AGENCY in Perth. They have just picked up the prestigious “Music and Entertainment Agency” Award from the Scottish Wedding Directory Vows Awards - again. This is the third time in a row that they’ve been nominated, and the second time in a row that they’ve won! What’s so heartening about this is that it’s not their peers who nominate the agents, but the brides and grooms – their customers.

Xxx

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Xxx

My favourite photographer JOHN MACPHERSON has done it again – have a look at his latest photograph of Skye. http://www.john.macpherson.btinternet.co.uk/fullimageofmontj.html

Isn’t that wonderful?

Xxx

Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

xxxx

THE GPS STRIKES AGAIN
I ended up at BILLY CONNOLLY’S house this month – by accident. (By the way Billy’s website is just plain weird!) I had a gig at a house in Strathdon (which has a hamlet nearby that goes by the name of Lost – I kid you not.) and punched the postcode into my GPS. Up in that neck of the woods there are a lot of big houses set in big, big land. Undeterred, my GPS led me confidently through a wide set of gates and into a driveway where, fortunately, I spotted Billy’s LandRover. So, if he’s wondering who the hell drove in, churned up his driveway in a circle, and vanished into the night again… it was me. G’bye!

XXX

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospital dying of nothing.

xxxx

SUN SEEKER
Flying up from Doon Sooth this month, at 36,000 feet, I watched the reddening sky of what promised to be a spectacular sunrise over the top of the flat cloud formation. And it was. First, just the tiniest pinprick of glorious red. Then, moment-by-moment, I watched as the sun edged itself over the horizon of cloud-top and emerged as a brilliant ball…

At which point a voice asked: “Drinks or snacks?”

Oooh, yes…

I tried talking to the stewardess, but it was hard to look her in the eye. Or even in the face, for that matter. Totally sun-blinded – I could see little more than a big black circle of nothingness surrounded by a blur – I tried handing over coins – I have no idea how much – and scrabbling and fumbling around for her hands, which I presumed were offering me my Pringles and Pepsi.

Lesson learned.

Xxxx

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?" And was it the same person who first said, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna’ eat the next thing that comes out of its backside."

xxxx

YE’R A LANG TIME DEID
Until now I only ever thought it. But now I’ve started saying it…

We’ve had a lot of rain recently, and the usual morning greeting from fellow villagers is: “Horrible day, eh?” Or something similar.

So I started saying: “You know, I’ve always thought that one day I’m going to be lying on my death bed. And the one, single thing I would give anything for is to feel the rain on my face just one more time.”

Now, maybe I’m being a smart-alec, but judging by the thoughtful expression and nods this elicits - I think they agree! Don’t you?

XXX

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

xxxxx

GROUNDED
Of all the days… It was a beautiful morning. Still and sunny. My phone rang, and it was my friend MARCUS FORD (Le Jazz Hot). “Drew, I’m thinking of getting the ‘plane out and flying over to Fife for a spot of lunch. Do you want to come?”

Of course I wanted to go! But of all the days for my car to be in the garage for its MOT… Aaaargh!

XXX

GJ on TV
What fun! For fans of that hilarious Scottish programme “Still Game” the team have followed it up with “Dear Green Place.” It doesn’t have Jack and Victor, but one episode DID have my friend, brilliant magician GARY JAMES. And, to my thinking, he produced the biggest laugh of the episode. Oh, and thanks for the mic holder, Gary, it works a treat!

XX

MIND MESSING
My pal IAN ROWLAND found this on the web and thought I would be interested. He’s right; I was. And I think you will be, too. . It looks like the silhouette of a dancer executing a pirouette. You are asked whether you think she is rotating clockwise or counter clockwise. In fact, it's an ambiguous figure and can be interpreted either way. http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,22556281-661,00.html

Careful, though. I’ve seen this start a LOT of arguments before somebody hollers: “Hang on! It’s just started going in the opposite direction!” and accusing me of pressing a key to reverse the direction. It’s just stuff that messes with your brain!

XXXX

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Xxxx

HOW TO GET WHAT YOU WANT

Asked what he wanted for Christmas, Jay, my grandson, said, "A social worker."

Asked why, he explained that they give you whatever you want. "You just say you want something – like a MacDonalds - and they have to get it for you!"

Who HAS he been talking to?

Xxxxxx

THE BRUCE BOOK
This is just great – I was doing a search on Google for ALICE COOPER memorabilia and found that there was a book for sale: “No More Mr. Nice Guy: The Inside Story of the Alice Cooper Group by MICHAEL BRUCE” (Michael was guitarist with Alice Cooper and wrote all those wonderful early hits.) I couldn’t believe it. “Appears unread. No writings/underlines/marks of any sort. Pages are nice and clean.” It was selling at $1340. Good grief!

Now, back in 2001, Michael Bruce came to Edinburgh to meet up with Alice while he was performing here, and I brought Michael out to West Calder where we spent half a day in my office and generally just mucking about. He gave me a copy of his book – and signed it for me. Wooo-hoooo! My copy is in mint condition. I’m rich! (Except I’m never going to sell it, of course!)

NB It still doesn’t make up for the fact that, on the morning of its release, I bought Anarchy in the UK by the Sex Pistols. It had a slight kink in it, and I tried to straighten it out – it broke. By lunchtime, all copies had been withdrawn. The last one to sell at auction went for £10,000!

Xxx

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

XXX

Gigs in November: The month started with Southampton, then a race back to Scotland for another gig at The Norton House Hotel, Edinburgh. I had a wonderful time in Cardiff – what a fantastic city and equally fantastic audience – then left in the small hours to get back to Edinburgh, pick up my car at the airport and then drive North to Aberdeen. There was another very productive meeting with the BBC (Hello, Anne! Good, wasn’t it?) and a gig in Aviemore. There was also a wee one at The Balmoral, Edinburgh – and one of the ones I really enjoyed was a private party for Julie Anderson.

Gigs NEXT MONTH: I’m going to be busy, with gigs in Birmingham, Macclesfield, Glasgow and Dunkeld. (If you haven’t booked up yer tartan Scottish Hogmanay Celebration yet, book up a place at the wonderful Dunkeld Hilton. I’ll be working most of the time up until Midnight, but be sure to take the time to say “Hi!” However, most of my work this month will be at Falkirk Stadium (an indoor marquee under the stand.) You can see the brochure here:
http://domain1104722.sites.fasthosts.com/brochures/ChristmasMagic_Falkirk%20Stadium.pdf
where I have been described as an “enigmatic Scottish mind reader”. I quite like that!

Xxxx

So, it just leaves me to wish each and every one of you a restful, merry Christmas and a very happy and peaceful New Year. See you on the other side!

ENDS