February 2006

First of all, Happy Birthday, Mummy!

THIS MONTH (1) Mohican fun-raiser result.(2) Travels in Scotland. (3) Letters that DIDN’T make it.(4) AQA(5) Gordon Giltrap(6) Gig list.

MOHICAN FUND RAISER
Well done to Gladys Chucklebutty, who had her head shaved into a mohican style and dyed purple for the Edinburgh Sick Kids Hospital, Cancer Ward. She and he cohorts raised a fantastic total of £1800. Amazing. You can see the photographs (weird, weird, weird) on www.chucklebutty.co.uk/MOHICAN.HTML

TRAVELS IN SCOTLAND
On my travels this month I drove to Inveraray then to Aberfoyle over a three-day period. The weather in the South was bitterly cold, yet in Callander, the Gateway to the Highlands – and I kid you not – it was positively warm. People were wearing T-shirts. I couldn’t believe it!
There was not a breath of wind as I drove up the side of Loch Lomond, up to the summit of the (aptly named) Rest and be Thankful, round Loch Long and Lock Fyne. The water was motionless, mirror-like, blue sky and snow on the distant peaks. Inveraray really is a picturesque little place; and if you REALLY like the Woolen Mill then you could occupy yourself for a whole day! (Fortunately I had a gig, so I at least had something to do.) But what a beautiful little place, surrounded as it is by breathtaking scenery.

The route back was equally inspiring, through Argyll Forest, along the scenic road below the towering heights of Stuc Scardan and Beinn Ghlass. Mountain and moors. That brought me out at Loch Awe, a loch I have passed on many occasions on the road to Oban, and seen Kilchurn castle through the trees. But this route brought me right past it, the castle in the sun, the reeds, the still water with its veil of mist. Romantic perfection.

PLEASE take the time to check out this – exactly as it looked on the day. http://lescompagnons.ca/Image/chateau/kilchurn-castle1024.jpg Go on – check it out. It’ll only take a moment to see the splendour.
I bet you now understand now why I LOVE my job!

LETTERS THAT DIDN'T MAKE IT.
Thanks to top-flight journalist Paul Johnson for this lot – and whoever he got them from.These are letters to newspaper editors... that didn’t make it into print. (And this is only a small selection.) Enjoy.
(1) Hats off to the England cricketers for their achievements in the Ashes last summer, which rightly earned Andrew 'Freddie' Flintoff BBC Sports personality of the Year. Winning a two-team tournament against a nation with a much smaller population once in every ten attempts, then never shutting upabout it, makes me proud to be British.
(2) The government tells us that we are eating too many pies and dying of heart disease, then in the next breath they're telling us we are living too long and there'll be no more pension money left for us. I wish they'd make their minds up.
(3) 'Alton Towers - Where the magic never ends', or so the commercial says. Imagine my disappointment when it closed at 7.30.
(4) The record companies would have us believe that the money made by CD pirates goes to fund the drug industry. But the money rock stars make from legal record sales ends up in exactly the same place. When they stop breaking the law, so will I.
(5) My friend's mum recently pointed out that I have the same ironing board cover as her. Can anyone think of a more mundane and pointless remark tomake than this?
(6) Did anyone else feel that Mel Gibson's remake of the classic "Life of Brian" wasn't anywhere near as funny as the original?
(7) On the BBC website, I read with interest that some scientists in Australia have discovered the smallest fish known to exist. They've obviously neverbeen to the Britannia Chippy on the Gloucester Road.
(8) The government says that there are nearly 50,000 people with HIV in Britain, a third of whom do not even know that they have it. Is it just me, or is it a bit harsh that the government know and haven't told the poor sods?
(9) With reference to that series "Manhunt" where ex-Special Forces soldiers try to hunt down Andy McNab. Why don't the producers include a couple of Iraqis in the hunting team? They found the twit quickly enough the last time he played hide and seek with them. (Sorry, Andy!) (10) I see on the news that Lord Hutton says he is "satisfied that David Kelly took his own life". He may not have liked Dr Kelly that much, but isn't this taking gloating just a little too far?
(11) I never worry about the destination when I'm going on holiday. My dad is Iranian and my mum is Irish, so I spend most of the time in customs.
(12) What's all this nonsense about that 66-year-old Romanian woman being theworld's oldest mum? My mum's 77. Beat that.

ANY QUESTION ANSWERED
Here’s a great little thing. You know all these pointless arguments you have in pubs? Or when you can’t remember the name of that two-bit actor in "Wagon Train"? Well, try AQA (All Questions Answered.) You compose the question into a text on your mobile phone, then text it to 63336, and they text you back with the answer! It really is as simple as that. While they DO answer serious questions, I asked "Where can I buy a monkey?" It took them all of a minute to come back with the answer – including the telephone number of the contact! (Apparently, you can’t just BUY one though; you need a license.)

But remember, all calls cost £1.00. Ask for permission of the bill payer. Terms and conditions apply blah-de-blah-de-blah. Worth a try, though!

GORDON GILTRAP
Okay, so the plan was to travel to the Beinn Inn which nestles in Glen Farg and have a chat with my old mucker Gordon Giltrap who was playing there... For those who don’t know – shame on you – Gordon is one of, if not THE, top acoustic guitarist in the UK. (Personally, I have no doubt that he IS). Sir Cliff Richard, Brian May, Rick Wakeman, Midge Ure, Martin Taylor, Bert Jansch, John Renbourne, John Entwistle, Steve Howe, Tony Iommi, Juan Martin, Simon Phillips, James Taylor – they have all at one time or another worked or collaborated with him. (And Blackmore and Page sing his praises, too.)

Anyway, I was only going to say "hello" but as usual Gordon and his charming wife Hilary were just TOO friendly, so I just HAD to stay and watch the show. (Sorry, Dave Arcari, it meant I didn’t make it to your gig. Next time... Anyway, I believe Edinburgh was choc-full, what with SCOTLAND positively hammering ENGLAND at the rugby that day!)
Where was I? Oh, yes, if you ever get the chance to catch Gordon in concert it’s an experience you will never forget, I promise. Visit www.giltrap.co.uk and click on Gigs Guide. If you live in Kent, Sussex or the bottom part of Englandshire, Gordon has a few gigs coming up. Skilled AND entertaining – don’t miss him – and tell him "Drew says, hello!"

ACTIVITY THIS MONTH - THE HIGHLIGHTS.
(1) Inveraray and a party of head teachers...(2) Then over to a private party (masked ball, which was wonderful) at Rangour House, Aberfoyle.(3) More TV meetings and more filming – yes, everything is progressing amazingly nicely, more news to follow, I hope.(4) Private party at Melville castle.(5) Treetops Hilton, Aberdeen.(6) Back by popular request to Inchyra Grange – after dinner spot.

Next month, there’s more TV "stuff" in London. (twice). Inveraray again, A Jeremy Beadle Quiz and Party Night. The Sheraton in Edinburgh. St Andrews, (twice). Saughton Prison Officers Club – oh, and if you want to hear a GREAT singer, Horse is on at the Queen’s Hall on Thursday the 30th. Wi’ a bit of luck, I’ll be there!

See ye’s a’ next month... Until then, have a GREAT one!
Drew
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