July 2007

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www.drewmcadam.co.uk


I had a wonderful couple of days catching up with old mindreading friends. Marc Salem was across from New York for a few weeks, so we managed to get together – and lovely, it was, too. Top mentalist from Israel, Lior Manor, was also there, so it was a great time to catch up on old times. He’s such a lovely man – as is his family. Gordon Rutter, who writes for the Fortean Times also put in an appearance, as did good chum Ian Rowland. Colin McLeod also managed to get along, so Colin and I took the opportunity to pop down to Sonning and meet up with my old chum, Uri Geller.

Uri is presently working on a HUGE television project in the US called PHENOMENON which we discussed at length. Make no mistake; he has a monster hit on his hands. He also has a weekly column in The Weekly News newspaper and was kind enough to mention our visit (referring to us as “brilliant mentalists” from Scotland. At least the “Scottish” reference was accuate!). That edition should be around until about Monday of next week.

GIGS ‘n’ STUFF
It’s been a busy month; but not for the usual reasons. July is always quiet for me in terms of gigs – because I mainly do corporate functions. It’s quiet at holiday times. Even so, my favourite gigs this month included a show for a large group of nurses in Glasgow, and a night club in Falkirk.

However, most of my time has been taken up with my other love – writing. Besides a couple of articles in The Scotsman, I’ve had a great deal of copywriting work. It’s always a pleasure to get the creative juices flowing!

Next month: there are gigs in Edinburgh, Larbert, somewhere waaaay up North, Bathgate and Alloa.

STILL GOT THE BLUES
If you are anywhere near Edinburgh on August 14 may I recommend a gig at The Liquid Rooms. Dave Arcari and Seasick Steve – you possibly caught him on Jools Holland’s show – everybody was talking about him. If you like The Blues, you’ll love this. Oh, and talking about The Blues, I managed to catch Blind lemon, with my old school colleague Ian Pettigrew on vocals and guitar. Too rare a treat, Ian!

RADIO GA GA
I was asked to do a slot on Kerang Radio in Birmingham next month. It won’t be happening… I’ve always had a habit of just saying “yes” to everything Thank God for a manager who knows his onions! Thanks, Douglas! Besides that, I’m frantically working on collecting material for a potential series with BBC radio.

THOSE MAGNIFICANT MEN…
Those who know me know that I love flying. Hellicopters, gliders, microlights – and my favourite sport for a long time, paragliding. Fellow performer Marcus Ford, of the trio Le Jazz Hot, kindly took me up in a tiny two-seater bucket thing… and what a flight! From Cumbernauls, across to Callandar, over Loch Katrine, across to Loch Lomond, and then down to Stirling. What a great way to spend an afternoon! And great company, too. Thank you, Marcus. The photo’s will be with you in due course.

ZAMBIA
Following the London to Paris cycle, I received a wonderful letter from the Zambian High Commission, just to say thank you. Nice when somebody takes the time… I think I’ll frame it.

THE ROAD TO ENLIGHTENMENT - THE TEACHINGS OF ZEN
This from Maggie Watson – you know I love this stuff!
1. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
2. If you lend someone £20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
3. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. 4. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.
5. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
6. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.7. Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.8. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxativeon the same night.
9. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tyre.
10. The darkest hour is just before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbour's' milk, that's the time to do it.
11. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish,and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

NAVIGATION
You may recall that last month I told a story about my GPS sending me on a wild goose chase, directing me in a complete circle… My cousin Sheila in the US wrote this “GPS humor: I borrowed Rob's GPS (nicknamed Screaming Myrtle after the Harry Potter movie) to get Anne and I to Shenandoah National Park. As we drove through the park along winding cliffside roads, the GPS directed me to make a left turn: directly through a small overlook area and over a cliff. She insisted on it, quite persistently. Best not to listen to those things too literally. I suspect being a female GPS she has a thing for Rob (Sheila’s husband) and was trying to “off” me....
And this from Wendy: “Drew, had to laugh when you asked if GPS has a sense of humour – xxxx’s (name deleted to protect the innocent – but it was Ewan!) elderly mother now has one and told him recently how it was rubbish as it kept sending her in the complete opposite direction from where she knew she had to go. We were at a complete loss as ours has always been spot on and suggested she return it, until in a separate conversation an hour later she asked if he would stick it to her dashboard for her - as she was having to read it turned sideways on the passenger seat!!!! Mystery solved!!
WEATHER ‘TIS NOBLER…
In Scotland – who would have thought it? The weather patterns really ARE changing. This photograph was taken by my son. It’s a pic of a tornado taken near my home town, which he chased across the region – the fool!

WE’LL SET ABOOT YE!
As you all probably already know, a couple of terrorists rammed a vehicle loaded with gas canisters and God-knows-what into Glasgow Airport this month. Some of you may even have heard of the baggage handler, John Smeaton, who had nipped out to have a fly fag when the vehicle made its unexpected entrance. He’s been on the news a great deal, and people seem to have taken him to their hearts on account of his forthright description of what he did and who he did it to. It seems that the people of Scotland in general, and of Glasgow in particular, view him as “one of them” who handled the situation as any other Glaswegian would.

Within just a few hours the text jokes and e-mails were flying. The results have been hilarious, perfectly catching the Scot’s humour (which much of the rest of the UK and the US often doesn’t quite grasp), the basic rule being: You try to kill us - we WILL take the piss. (And let’s face it, it’s hard to be a macho-terrorist when everybody is pointing and laughing!)

For foreign readers, I have taken the liberty of explaining (to the best of my ability) what the Scottish words that John used actually mean. Basically, it is the story of one brave Weegie (Glaswegian) who takes on al-Qaeda. (It seems that there were a few Weegie bystanders who decided to “have a go.”) This was described by John who – live on the news – described how everybody got “stuck in” to the terrorists. He used phrases such as “This is Glasgow, we’ll just set aboot ye.” (Behold, the birth of a new catchphrase!) In other words, screw with a Weegie, and you will be on the receiving end of some energetic, scrum-like retaliation.

As he, himself, explained: “We all tried to get a kick in… get a boot in at him.”

There follows a number of quotes from emails I have received:

“Baggage supervisor, hero, smoker – John Smeaton. Little did he know that two crazed al-Qaeda operatives were preparing to meet their Maker. But they didn’t meet their Maker; they met John.”

“A Braveheart for a modern Scotland that treats terrorism with a stiff right hook rather than a stiff upper lip.”

“Only in Glasgow can some guy who sets out on a ‘holy jihad’ and a destiny with 84 virgins in Paradise end up on fire from head to toe and getting malkied by a bystander.” (malkied; given a dashed good thrashing but with only one blow and no finesse.)

“I love the idea of these guys coming from around the world to try and bring down Western civilisation only to get the sh** kicked out of them by a weegie.”

"Only in Glasgow do suicide bombers need rescued from the locals by the police."

John did an interview on CNN and they asked how he restrained the terrorist. He said: “Me an’ other folk were just tryin’ tae get the boot in and some other guy banjoed him." (If somebody gets “banjoed”… well, imagine getting hit in the face with a banjo – the result and the noise would be rather similar.

“Carlsberg don’t make baggage handlers, but if they did…” (It’s from a TV commercial for those to whom this is unfamiliar.)

And to top it all, a web site invited those who appreciated John Smeaton’s actions to pledge £3 each, to set up pints for him at the Glasgow Airport Holiday Inn. He now has over 1,000 pints waiting for him; and they’ve had to call a halt to it.

The Daily Record is one of Scotland’s national dailies…

And just one more quote: “We can start suspecting everyone who doesn’t look like us, call for hanging and flogging, scream about sending ‘em all back home. If that’s the way Scotland wants to be, fine. Just count me out of the hystria. Because we’ll be a better nation if we stick to an old adage that was drummed into me very early in life. If you hit a Scotsman, you’d better make sure he doesn’t get back up.”
Hope you all have a GREAT August, and I’ll see you next month!

Best wishes,

Drew