September 2005

Wow! What an incredibly busy month. I seem to have crammed six month’s activity into just 30 days. All of it was good – well, most of it. The sad loss of a favourite dog, and a car that blew a radiator hose in spectacular fashion aside, it’s been great fun. But more of that later.
This month’s gigs included: A lunchtime gig at the Ratho Inn, and an evening gig at the Ramada Jarvis, Mount Royal Hotel on Princes Street, Edinburgh. This hotel has a superb view over to the castle, and the gig was on the evening of the Fireworks Display. There was also a gig at the spectacular Dalhousie Castle, and another at the equally impressive Melville Castle.

And that’s when things started to get a bit hectic. I had a gig, in what I thought was the big room, at The Very Posh Marcliffe Hotel in Aberdeen for an oil company. Then with only a day to prepare, I was off to Worcestershire, and the Chateau Impney – this is an amazing edifice, with turrets and towers aplenty – it looks rather like the Disney Castle. And performing in the Ballroom, with its elaborate friezes, panels and plasterwork was like performing inside a wedding cake! Next day, I drove back up the road and with hardly time to draw breath was off up the top end of the UK and The Marcliffe again – and this time it was the Ballroom – and that IS a big room. Zipped back down the road again, then caught a flight to Birmingham, hired a car, and shot across to The Holt Hotel near Bicester. Back up the next day, and that night I had to get to a gig at The Tinto Hotel, in The Borders. Not finished there, I had a couple of days to myself, sort of, then a gig at Forth Valley College in Stirling, quickly followed by another at Mansefield Traquhair in Edinburgh.

So, yes, there was a lot of running around. But, believe me, I met some of the most fascinating people in my life. Special mention to SUSIE and JONNY (TV commissioning agents), also ANDREW, Editor of Broker Monthly, the very special DAVID TAYLOR of Taylor made Speakers, and the incredible ALAN J CLEARY – one of the most amazing people it’s ever been my pleasure to meet.

Really, I cannot believe that people actually pay me money to live this life. What a Joy!

Xxx

This month, I was the guest of Sunday Post reporter PAUL JOHNSON, for the Scotland v Italy game at Hampden. Now, I’m not usually a football kinda’ guy, but this was an amazing game in which Scotland scored first... Of course, we wouldn't expect it to last, and Italy equalised. Still, it was a real treat – and I enjoyed the Bovril and pie! Thanks, Paul!
Oh, and when we left the football we went to one of my favourite restaurants in Glasgow – The Spice Garden. Great food and friendly service beyond compare.

In fact the last time I was there, I wasn’t there... if that makes sense. STEVE HARLEY and the band were going and I was invited, but I had a gig and had to shoot across town. And – talking of Steve Harley and Cockney Rebel, there is a lot of news here... so get your pens and paper / diary out...
First, there’s the new album which I mentioned last month. Do yourself a favour and order yourself a copy – you won’t be disappointed, I guarantee it.
You can order it from... http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B000AV90IM/026-9738077-8540424

Then there are the gigs. This is a HUGE tour, through October and November, and a mammoth undertaking. And no matter where you live – in the UK, that is - he’ll be at a venue near you. So, PLEASE make sure you catch him live. It’s an experience you’ll remember for the rest of your life.
You can check out the dates here: http://www.steveharley.com/dates.html
Just pick the one that’s closest to your home town, AND GO!

xxx

Highlight of the month for me has to be a three day trip to London, as a house guest of the amazing MARC SALEM who had a show on at the Tricycle Theatre in London. It’s always an honour and a pleasure to spend time with Marc and his remarkable wife, Tova. I love you both dearly.
Marc had a flat in St Christopher’s place last year, and you may recall that I had the most extraordinary meeting with an old friend. The ultimate coincidence, I had just replied by text to a message from Uri Geller, when I heard a voice shout: "My God, Drew, I don’t believe it!" and there was Uri! It was the most startling coincidence I had ever experienced. (You can read the newspaper clipping here: ).
Well, every time I stepped out of the flat, I checked up and down the street to make sure that Uri wasn’t in sight before I sallied forth. That would just have been TOO much!

Being in London also gave me the opportunity to take a riverboat down to Greenwich, and se the Cutty Sark. (Here’s something I bet you didn’t know: my great, great grandfather was the captain of the clipper ship The Thermoplaye – the only ship ever to beat The Cutty Sark.) It also gave me the opportunity to meet up with my very good friend IAN ROWLAND. Ian took me to his favourite spot in the town; a real old-fashioned Pie and Mash shop. What a wonderful experience. Simple, tasty food and great company.

While in London we had a few nice meals, and at one point I was sitting outside the restaurant and took the opportunity to pay for the meal while Marc and Tova were otherwise engaged (Marc is generous to a fault, and I was determined that this meal was on me.) I sneaked off into the restaurant and as I approached the door, an Eastern European waitress asked me: "Table for how many?" I shook my head: "Oh, no. I want to pay!". She directed me: "Downstairs, on the right." I wandered down the stairs, thinking "strange place to have the till!".. and found myself facing the WC. Back upstairs... "No, I want to PAY. Not PEE!"

xxxx

And another misunderstanding, while on the train heading for London, one of my agents called me. (the lovely – and remarkably efficient - FIONA GOLDTHORPE, if you MUST know!) She wanted to know if I was all set for the Dalhousie Castle gig on the Saturday. I smugly assured her that I was, and that I was also ready for the gig, at the same venue, on the Thursday. There was much confusion and shifting of papers before I was told that they had no record of a gig on that date. In smug-overdrive, I assured them there was... more silence, then: "Actually, Drew, that’s next year. It’s in 2006!" Gulp. Weak grin. At which point I heard Douglas in the background yelling: "How can he be expected to read f***ing minds when he can’t even read the f***g contract!" (Sigh!)

xxx

Bit of excitement this month, just before the long drives to Aberdeen and to Droitwich, I had picked up my car from where it was getting serviced and had just pulled to a halt when there was an incredible "Bang!" as a radiator hose blew. The amount of steam that can come from a wildly overheated engine (I just hadn’t believed the temperature gauge) has to be seen to believed. Indeed, it inspired a bloke from across the road to run over with a fire extinguisher!

Xxx

Interesting projects over the next month. More of this next month, but I’d just like to mention them in passing. I’m in Broker’s Monthly – a very tasty, enigmatic piece. Also, Barry from the Daily Record (Scotland’s biggest selling national) is organising a double-page colour feature. Additionally, I’m going to be in London a few times over the next couple of months, talking to TV production companies, all down to Susie Townson of Plus Talent. Well done, young lady!

So, there’s been a lot of fun this month, but I’d like to mention a special dog. A lot of you will know of my very dear friend Susan. Well, all the time I’ve known her she has had a (rather effeminate, it has to be said!) dog called Ben who was totally devoted to her, the way only special dogs can be. Unfortunately, Ben had to be put to sleep this month after a short illness. And to be honest, the place just isn’t the same without him.

xxxx

FIRST QUESTION You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in? ANSWER: If you answered that you are first, you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!

SECOND QUESTION
If you overtake the last person, then you are...? ANSWER: If you answered that you are second to last, you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?

THIRD QUESTION
(Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.) Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total?Did you get 5000? ANSWER: The correct answer is actually 4100. Don't believe it? Check with your calculator!

FOURTH QUESTION
Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?ANSWER: Nunu? NO! Of course not. Her name is MARY Read the question again!

xxxxx
AND NOW FOR A WEE JOKE...
Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed.""OH NO!" the president exclaims. "That's terrible!"
His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the president sits, head in hands.Finally, the president looks up and asks: "Eh... How many is a brazillion?"

ENDS