August 2005

MEET YOURSELF IN THIS MONTH’S NEWSLETTER:
Steve Harley, Peter Lamont, Robin Cook, Robbie Glen, Gordon Giltrap, Rick Wakeman, Paul Zenon, Barry Wickens.

NEW STEVE HARLEY ALBUM – DON’T MISS IT!
Well, what a wonderful surprise. Those of you who know me are well aware that I’m a huge fan of Steve Harley and Cockney Rebel – have been since I was an angst-ridden teenager and they assaulted the UK charts with numerous singles and albums. You’ll also know of my pleasure in being included as part of "The Family" in the interview section of Steve’s wonderful new DVD. So, I was delighted when I received the following from Steve: "...am about to bag-up a very rare (like, only the musicians and engineers and record company have a copy) copy of new CD, ‘The Quality Of Mercy.’ I want you to hear it and have it and let me know your thoughts. I will value them. But be warned, I believe it may just be the best album I've ever written. Tread softly for you..." Tread on your dreams. Steve? Not a chance
But if that was a pleasure, it was nothing compared to listening to the new CD. Honest opinion? I do a lot of driving, and in the course of zooming around here there and everywhere I listen to a LOT of music. The latest has been the superb James Blunt CD and the new Coldplay album... but they are as NOTHING compared to this.

I agree with Steve: this just may be the best thing he’s ever done. He’s still excited by music and songwriting, and he drives himself at an unimaginable rate. His enthusiasm and excitement in his work, even after all this time, is overwhelming. So, when he pours everything into the new album, you just know it has to be a winner. And it really, really is.
I am already a massive fan of the song "Friend For Life." Just give it one listen and if it doesn’t bring you out in goosebumps, you’re in a coma, mate! But Steve has gone even further – and I wouldn’t have believed that possible :
I’m only going to mention a couple of tracks here- ‘cause the album isn’t out yet, but I’ll come back with more when it’s released. First, Journey’s End (A Father’s Promise) If you have any affection and esteem for children then this will do it for you... With a beautiful saxophone bridge
"I’ll be on the road as the mystery unfolds,
I’ll be there when you need a special friend.
I’ll be there when you fear it’s a never-ending road
I’ll be there at your journey’s end."
Jeez – William Butler Yeats is alive and well!
And as for The Coast Of Amalfi... Words fail.
Look, there is no point trying to capture the beauty and vibrant electricity of this album. When it’s released, just buy it. If you DON’T like it, I will personally refund your payment. Agreed?

NEW BOOK ALERT – THE FIRST PSYCHIC
An acquaintance of mine, Peter Lamont, has a new book on the market entitled "The First Psychic". It’s a true-life account of Daniel Douglas Home (A Scot, by the way!) Peter investigates the changing fortunes of a man whose life challenged the Victorian obsession with science and religion, a man who baffled the establishment so much that they actually coined the word "psychic" to describe him. It covers the life ant times of this amazing man, and the strange events that occurred in his presence. A fascinating read, it’s well worth getting your hands on a copy.

ROBIN COOK
Most of you won’t know this but in July I had dealings with Robin Cook. (It’s a long story – too long to go into here, though I understand it’s to be covered in a magazine some time soon.) Robin, when Foreign secretary, handed his resignation to Tony Blair on the grounds that he could not agree with his policy over the Iraq war. You will probably know that he tragically died this month. I was happy that I was able to shake the man’s hand couple of weeks before the tragedy and, in a few words, express how much I respected his stand, despite the cost to his career and personal life.
To be honest, I never had much time for the man; or politics. But I saw him bring the biggest, smiliest smiles to a bunch of kids. It was an act he need not have bothered with. But he did. And to me, that spoke volumes. I wish now that I’d paid a bit more attention when he was around.

WHEN YOU GO - BANGERS
Met up with Robbie Glen, top after dinner speaker (rating only with Len Murray, of course) ex-governor of Barlinnie Prison, though under not particularly happy circumstances. It was just so great to meet up with this wonderful man again. However, there was a conversation as I drove him into Glasgow that I’d like to relate here – just so that you all know. We talked about what kind of funeral each of us would want. Robbie wanted something quiet and private. Asking me, I decided on the spur of the moment – Fireworks. Lots and lots of fireworks... So now you know, Okay?

TESTED – AND FOUND WANTING
This month I had a wonderful experience, undergoing a test at the Parapsychology department of Edinburgh University. I was wired up to an EEG, monitoring my brain patterns, which meant having numerous electrodes fastened to my face and head, then all hooked up to some weird and wonderful hi-tech equipment. Ian Baker, who was conducting the test (who later wrote to say: " I think I can safely say that that was one of the most enjoyable experimental sessions I have ever run.") took several photographs of me in all this electronic finery (It actually looks rather sinister, I have to admit!). "Can I have a copy of the photographs?" I asked. "They’re for my mother."
"For your mother?" Ian said.
Yeah. This is her greatest ambition for me."
"To be tested for ESP ability?" he asked.
No – TO HAVE MY HEAD EXAMINED!"
(Sorry – couldn’t resist it!)

WHO ARE YOU? GILTRAP AND WAKEMAN.
I caught a TV programme this month – on the Biography Channel. I love The Who, and the programme was concentrating on the group’s bassist – John Entwistle. It was one of those moments, when you think: hang on, I know that voice... and there was me old mucker Gordon Giltrap (who has one of my bent spoons in his studio.) He was interviewing John. (Gordon, I know you read this – well done, mate!) Also interviewed was Rick Wakeman in whose company I once spent what was probably the most hilarious 45-minutes of my life (in Haddington of all places), followed by a welcome invitation to dinner. It’s a small world, in’it?

CHOOO-CHOOO
I had a friend whose greatest ambition was to be run down by a steam train. When it happened, he was chuffed to bits!
What?
WHAT?!

GIGS THIS MONTH... YEAH, YEAH, THE BORING BIT UNLESS YOU WERE THERE.
Gigs this month included The Beancross at Falkirk, a private gig in Leith, a real hoot in Kirkcaldy, and one at The Sheraton in Edinburgh, which was particularly enjoyable, then gallivanting around Edinburgh until 3am followed by a gig at Ayr race track.
Oddly, I was doing something for a young lady at the Ayr gig when she asked me if I was the guy who was featured a couple of months back in The Herald magazine, along with Jane, the female funeral director. It turned out that the young lady was Jane’s sister... Again, it’s a small world, in’it?

SMILES – MAINLY.
Had a whole barrow-load of fun with Li’l Emily and her mummy Susan this month. Along with a visit to the Beancross and a morning at Thomas the Tank Engine day – with the steam trains, about which she is crazy. There was also a visit to a safari park (and a long, long slide on the Astroglide, where I was more scared than she) and her first REAL haircut. And that’s not to mention the swimming session. It’s amazing how much a little person can give you back for so little investment of your time and effort. They can really worm their way into your heart, can’t they?
Which is why I’ll miss Wee Ruth. Wings open. Eyes downcast. (Only for those who know – or understand.) Goodbye.

FESTIVAL FROLICS
I was in full reviewer mode during the Edinburgh Festival. The Cafe on The Bridges kept me going on coffee and toast loaded with bacon, sausage and potato scones – though I did take a break one night an tried the Haggis Pakora. Weird, but good.
Reviews included the Caesar twins, Ian Kendall, Cabaret Decadanse, GoGo Burlesquo, Tim Vine (his best friend John Archer – SKY undercover magic - insisted that I review him, otherwise he would sit on my head. And believe me, NOBODY would want John sitting on their head!). The Camut Band, some really crappy hypnotist, and my favourite (five stars) The Mystery of Chung Ling Soo. I also made it to a show – though not to review - at Roslyn Chapel... but the least said about that the better. The only highlight was when Susan took a fit of the giggles. At least SHE paid for the tickets!
There was a close call during The Festival was when I was rushing from one venue to the next. I thought I would be smart and run up the Bus Lane, in the opposite direction to the traffic (It was okay, I figured, because there were no buses to take up the lane.) Suddenly, out of the queuing traffic came fellow reviewer (obviously racing to HIS next venue) Tom Dibdin, wearing one of his awful Hawaiian blouses, on a bike, and almost knocked me for six. I swear he didn’t even see me. It could have so easily been a case where the Evening News lost two reviewers in one, dramatic explosion.

DNA
Interesting news item. According to new research, our DNA is 99% identical to chimpanzees. My first reaction was that I hadn’t realised we were so close. But when I thought about it, and carried out a bit of my own research (without the aid of a massive grant, let me point out), I came to the realisation that 1% is a LOT. Otherwise chimps would be sending rockets into space, rather than picking at their ears with twigs. Apparently, there is only 4% difference between the DNA in humans and that found in limpets, wombats, and a Sainsbury’s sandwich that’s past it’s sell-by date. So there.

ZENON – WHAT A GAS
Met up with chum TV Street Magician Paul Zenon and had a relaxed, hilarious meal. What a character. The night before, he had been involved in some show with Jimmy Carr, Bill Bailey and Julian Clary – just sorry I missed it. However, (in the UK) we will all have a chance to see Paul when they air his ancestral pile on Through The Keyhole. By the way, here’s a wee bit of gossip. Paul was telling me that when they film distant shots of him, perhaps with a voice over, and he is talking to somebody, he often trots out some rather risqué statements. Why? So that those viewers who are lip reading can get a bit of a laugh (He’s never had a complaint yet!)
Oh, and coming full circle. Paul was in Brighton where he was introduced to top musician Barry Wickens – violinist with Cockney Rebel. The usual "You’ll know Drew McAdam..." conversation then ensued... Again, it’s a small world, in’it?.

I’LL BET YOU THINK YOU KNOW THIS...
A different version of FOOTSTEPS
One night a man had a dream.He dreamed he was walking alongthe beach with the Lord.
Across the dark sky flashed scenes from his life.For each scene, he noticedtwo sets of footprints in the sand,one belonging to him and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him,he looked back at the footprints in the sand.He noticed that many times along the path of his lifethere was only one set of footprints.He also noticed that it happened at thevery lowest and saddest times in his life.This bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it.
"Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,you'd walk with me all the way.But I have noticed that during the mosttroublesome times in my life there isonly one set of footprints.I don't understand why, when I needed you most,you would leave me."
The Lord replied "My precious, precious child,I love you and would never leave you.When you see only one set of footprints in the sand,THAT WAS WHEN I THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE FUN IF WE BOTH HOPPED.

NEXT MONTH’S GIGS
Ratho Inn
Ramada Jarvis, Edinburgh
London
Dalhousie Castle (2)
Livingston
Marriot Hotel
Aberdeen
Worcester
Bicester
Symington
Stirling University

See you all next month. Till then, remember: any day spent above ground, is a good one!

ENDS