Hello! It’s me again!
Tel: 01506 873013www.drewmcadam.co.ukHi, how are you? In great spirits, I hope. Here is the NOVEMBER 2007 Newsletter.(If you receive this it's because we've had some dealings in the past, you're a personal friend, or because you've expressed an interest in receiving the newsletter… or all of the above. However, if you have no wish to receive further issues - just hit reply and enter "unsubscribe" in the subject box. I won't take offence!)
www.drewmcadam.co.uk
Before we start: If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
THE BESTEST CHRISTMAS PRESENT EVER – AND NO MISTAKE
Still trying to think of something REALLY different for a Christmas Present? Check THIS out: www.sled-dogs.co.uk. (And in particular, watch the TV video which opens automatically – it will give you some idea of what it’s like). I had a gig in Aviemore, and took the opportunity to spend part of the day with one of the most fascinating people I have ever met – ALAN STEWART who runs the Cairngorm Sleddog Adventure Centre – and what an adventure we had! Pulled by a team of 12 Huskies, with Alan enthusing over the activity and explaining his training methods, we rattled through forest and along the edges of the moorland below the frowning heights of The Cairngorm Mountains. You can’t experience it without a silly big grin on your face – guaranteed. Can you imagine?
You just HAVE to visit this place. It’s remote. It’s cold. It’s wild. But Alan and his wife Fiona are the perfect hosts – it’s a real pleasure to be in their company. He is so enthusiastic about his “hobby”, though I would think that looking after more than 30 dogs is a full time job. The dogs can’t run when it’s warm, so Alan returns to his “real job” as a saturation diver for three months each year; so you would be wise to book your place now, while the snow is coming and before it thaws.
Like I said, I bet YOU know somebody who would love to do that – a perfect Christmas gift, don’cha think?
Xxx
Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
xxx
ALL THAT TIME WASTED ON LEARNING TO SPELL!
I cduol not blveiee taht I cluod auctulaly udeunatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? And I awlyas tohghut slpeling was ipmorantt.
Xxx
ANOTHER AWARD
Congratulations to my manager, DOUGLAS GILLESPIE and his trusty team at the ENTERTAINERS AGENCY in Perth. They have just picked up the prestigious “Music and Entertainment Agency” Award from the Scottish Wedding Directory Vows Awards - again. This is the third time in a row that they’ve been nominated, and the second time in a row that they’ve won! What’s so heartening about this is that it’s not their peers who nominate the agents, but the brides and grooms – their customers.
Xxx
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Xxx
My favourite photographer JOHN MACPHERSON has done it again – have a look at his latest photograph of Skye. http://www.john.macpherson.btinternet.co.uk/fullimageofmontj.html
Isn’t that wonderful?
Xxx
Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
xxxx
THE GPS STRIKES AGAIN
I ended up at BILLY CONNOLLY’S house this month – by accident. (By the way Billy’s website is just plain weird!) I had a gig at a house in Strathdon (which has a hamlet nearby that goes by the name of Lost – I kid you not.) and punched the postcode into my GPS. Up in that neck of the woods there are a lot of big houses set in big, big land. Undeterred, my GPS led me confidently through a wide set of gates and into a driveway where, fortunately, I spotted Billy’s LandRover. So, if he’s wondering who the hell drove in, churned up his driveway in a circle, and vanished into the night again… it was me. G’bye!
XXX
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospital dying of nothing.
xxxx
SUN SEEKER
Flying up from Doon Sooth this month, at 36,000 feet, I watched the reddening sky of what promised to be a spectacular sunrise over the top of the flat cloud formation. And it was. First, just the tiniest pinprick of glorious red. Then, moment-by-moment, I watched as the sun edged itself over the horizon of cloud-top and emerged as a brilliant ball…
At which point a voice asked: “Drinks or snacks?”
Oooh, yes…
I tried talking to the stewardess, but it was hard to look her in the eye. Or even in the face, for that matter. Totally sun-blinded – I could see little more than a big black circle of nothingness surrounded by a blur – I tried handing over coins – I have no idea how much – and scrabbling and fumbling around for her hands, which I presumed were offering me my Pringles and Pepsi.
Lesson learned.
Xxxx
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?" And was it the same person who first said, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna’ eat the next thing that comes out of its backside."
xxxx
YE’R A LANG TIME DEID
Until now I only ever thought it. But now I’ve started saying it…
We’ve had a lot of rain recently, and the usual morning greeting from fellow villagers is: “Horrible day, eh?” Or something similar.
So I started saying: “You know, I’ve always thought that one day I’m going to be lying on my death bed. And the one, single thing I would give anything for is to feel the rain on my face just one more time.”
Now, maybe I’m being a smart-alec, but judging by the thoughtful expression and nods this elicits - I think they agree! Don’t you?
XXX
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
xxxxx
GROUNDED
Of all the days… It was a beautiful morning. Still and sunny. My phone rang, and it was my friend MARCUS FORD (Le Jazz Hot). “Drew, I’m thinking of getting the ‘plane out and flying over to Fife for a spot of lunch. Do you want to come?”
Of course I wanted to go! But of all the days for my car to be in the garage for its MOT… Aaaargh!
XXX
GJ on TV
What fun! For fans of that hilarious Scottish programme “Still Game” the team have followed it up with “Dear Green Place.” It doesn’t have Jack and Victor, but one episode DID have my friend, brilliant magician GARY JAMES. And, to my thinking, he produced the biggest laugh of the episode. Oh, and thanks for the mic holder, Gary, it works a treat!
XX
MIND MESSING
My pal IAN ROWLAND found this on the web and thought I would be interested. He’s right; I was. And I think you will be, too. . It looks like the silhouette of a dancer executing a pirouette. You are asked whether you think she is rotating clockwise or counter clockwise. In fact, it's an ambiguous figure and can be interpreted either way. http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,22556281-661,00.html
Careful, though. I’ve seen this start a LOT of arguments before somebody hollers: “Hang on! It’s just started going in the opposite direction!” and accusing me of pressing a key to reverse the direction. It’s just stuff that messes with your brain!
XXXX
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Xxxx
HOW TO GET WHAT YOU WANT
Asked what he wanted for Christmas, Jay, my grandson, said, "A social worker."
Asked why, he explained that they give you whatever you want. "You just say you want something – like a MacDonalds - and they have to get it for you!"
Who HAS he been talking to?
Xxxxxx
THE BRUCE BOOK
This is just great – I was doing a search on Google for ALICE COOPER memorabilia and found that there was a book for sale: “No More Mr. Nice Guy: The Inside Story of the Alice Cooper Group by MICHAEL BRUCE” (Michael was guitarist with Alice Cooper and wrote all those wonderful early hits.) I couldn’t believe it. “Appears unread. No writings/underlines/marks of any sort. Pages are nice and clean.” It was selling at $1340. Good grief!
Now, back in 2001, Michael Bruce came to Edinburgh to meet up with Alice while he was performing here, and I brought Michael out to West Calder where we spent half a day in my office and generally just mucking about. He gave me a copy of his book – and signed it for me. Wooo-hoooo! My copy is in mint condition. I’m rich! (Except I’m never going to sell it, of course!)
NB It still doesn’t make up for the fact that, on the morning of its release, I bought Anarchy in the UK by the Sex Pistols. It had a slight kink in it, and I tried to straighten it out – it broke. By lunchtime, all copies had been withdrawn. The last one to sell at auction went for £10,000!
Xxx
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
XXX
Gigs in November: The month started with Southampton, then a race back to Scotland for another gig at The Norton House Hotel, Edinburgh. I had a wonderful time in Cardiff – what a fantastic city and equally fantastic audience – then left in the small hours to get back to Edinburgh, pick up my car at the airport and then drive North to Aberdeen. There was another very productive meeting with the BBC (Hello, Anne! Good, wasn’t it?) and a gig in Aviemore. There was also a wee one at The Balmoral, Edinburgh – and one of the ones I really enjoyed was a private party for Julie Anderson.
Gigs NEXT MONTH: I’m going to be busy, with gigs in Birmingham, Macclesfield, Glasgow and Dunkeld. (If you haven’t booked up yer tartan Scottish Hogmanay Celebration yet, book up a place at the wonderful Dunkeld Hilton. I’ll be working most of the time up until Midnight, but be sure to take the time to say “Hi!” However, most of my work this month will be at Falkirk Stadium (an indoor marquee under the stand.) You can see the brochure here:
http://domain1104722.sites.fasthosts.com/brochures/ChristmasMagic_Falkirk%20Stadium.pdf
where I have been described as an “enigmatic Scottish mind reader”. I quite like that!
Xxxx
So, it just leaves me to wish each and every one of you a restful, merry Christmas and a very happy and peaceful New Year. See you on the other side!
ENDS
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Thursday, November 08, 2007
October 2007
Hello again!
(If you receive this it's because we've had some dealings in the past, you're a personal friend, I bumped into you in a pub, or because you've expressed an interest in receiving the newsletter… or all of the above. However, if you have no wish to receive further issues - just hit reply and enter "unsubscribe" in the subject box. I won't take offence!)
Because I meet so many fascinating individuals in my line, it’s impossible to keep in touch with all of you – more’s the pity. This newsletter is my way of doing so. But it’s not much use if you don’t drop me a wee note back to let me know what YOU are up to. So PLEASE do – I really want to know. It’s important to me. Okay?
Thank you.
www.drewmcadam.co.uk
I’m keeping this one short – busy, busy busy.
GREAT FEW DAYS AWAY.
I had a wonderful time Doon Sooth. I headed off to see Stonehenge, and got lost on the way, ending up in Aylesbury instead of Avesbury. Still, who cares?! It was a fantastic, realxing, interesting time. What more can you ask for?
HERE’S SOMETHING WORTH WATCHING:
The documentary X-Alps, The World’s Most Extreme Race, will be shown on BBC 2 Scotland on Tuesday October the 30th at 7pm. A paragliding chum of mine, Ulric Jessop and his wife Ruth, took part in the X-Alps earlier this year. Now the result is to be shown… but only on BBC2 (Scotland.)
Now, the BAD news is, it’s only being shown in Scotland – and one needs to ask why. The slightly better news is that you should be able to se it on SKY Channel 990. However, for those of you who live somewhere other than in Bonnie Scotland, or don’t have SKY, if you wait till later in the week (and for one week only) you can watch it here… http://www.bbc.co.uk/scotland/player/?item=tv_and_radio
The programme should appear amongst the list of programmes on the right hand side of the screen. Anyone can view the programme on demand for 7 days after the transmission.
Please, DO watch it. I am certain you will find it truly fascinating.
ALL HAIL TO TERRY STEVENS…
who is in Zambia on a sponsored march… I received a quick email which told me he had fallen out of a raft and swallowed half the Zambezi River – other than that, he’s still going! Well done, mate!
LET THERE BE LIGHT… PLEASE.
The fluorescent light strip in my office wasn’t working one morning so I set off to the ironmongers (a territory unfamiliar to me). What size? The shopkeeper wanted to know. I had no idea, but I guessed at 5 feet. Back to the office. Wrong… back to the ironmonger. I picked up the 6foot version and went back to the office, put it in and… nothing. So, I managed to get the little started thingy out… back to the ironmonger. “It’s unlikely it’s the starter… are you sure you put the tube in right” I drew him a withering glance. “I’m not THAT stupid!” Back to the office… where I found the light strip lying on the floor in pieces…
AN INTERESTING EXPERIMENT.
I had taken my GPS unit on my trip down south this month so that I could use it in the hired car (By the way – ALWAYS take out the extra insurance when hiring a car… long story.) On the flight back, I got to wondering if a GPS unit would work on a ‘plane. Apart from anything else, I’d be able to follow my route. I switched it on (made sure the voice direction function was off. Apart from anything else, I have Ozzy Osbourne on mine and I didn’t want him yelling out “Turn left, and take the *#bleep#* motorway!” I also have the thing at full volume because I like to drive with the music LOUD! I then held the unit to the window to see if I could get a signal.
Well, yes, you can. Unfortunately, my unit has ANOTHER function that bleeps (and it sounds EXACTLY like the “bongs” on an aircraft when you pres the button to call the stewardess.) whenever you approach a speed trap area.
Well scooting through dozens of GATZOs at over 400 miles an hour produced a LOT of “bongs” in quick succession… and in my fumbling, do you think I could switch the damned thing off? Well, yes, eventually.
THIS MONTH AND NEXT.
I’d like to say hello to all the people I met at my recent gigs who are now on this newsletter. Gigs included the Holiday Inn, Edinburgh, More talks and planning with BBC Scotland, the Marine Hotel in Troon, Creiff Hydro and the very posh Marcliffe Hotel in Aberdeen.
Even as I finish this newsletter, I am preparing to get up at 5am tomorrow morning to fly to Manchester for a trade show, from here I will be going straight to Southampton for a further two days of trade shows, and then Norton House Hotel, Edinburgh. Later on there is a gig in Cardiff, then a flight straight back to Edinburgh where I clamber in to my car and head straight up to Old Meldrum, just north of Aberdeen. I also have a gig in Aviemore (and I’m meeting up with the sleddogs during their training in the mountains the next morning) then theirs a gig at The Balmoral Hotel in Edinburgh, and then a private party for the lovely Julie Anderson in Whitburn.
Other than that, my time is my own!
Anyway, DO let me know how you are getting on – and don’t forget to watch Ulric and Ruth – by whatever means necessary – and I will catch up with you all next month!
Best wishes,
Drew McAdam
(If you receive this it's because we've had some dealings in the past, you're a personal friend, I bumped into you in a pub, or because you've expressed an interest in receiving the newsletter… or all of the above. However, if you have no wish to receive further issues - just hit reply and enter "unsubscribe" in the subject box. I won't take offence!)
Because I meet so many fascinating individuals in my line, it’s impossible to keep in touch with all of you – more’s the pity. This newsletter is my way of doing so. But it’s not much use if you don’t drop me a wee note back to let me know what YOU are up to. So PLEASE do – I really want to know. It’s important to me. Okay?
Thank you.
www.drewmcadam.co.uk
I’m keeping this one short – busy, busy busy.
GREAT FEW DAYS AWAY.
I had a wonderful time Doon Sooth. I headed off to see Stonehenge, and got lost on the way, ending up in Aylesbury instead of Avesbury. Still, who cares?! It was a fantastic, realxing, interesting time. What more can you ask for?
HERE’S SOMETHING WORTH WATCHING:
The documentary X-Alps, The World’s Most Extreme Race, will be shown on BBC 2 Scotland on Tuesday October the 30th at 7pm. A paragliding chum of mine, Ulric Jessop and his wife Ruth, took part in the X-Alps earlier this year. Now the result is to be shown… but only on BBC2 (Scotland.)
Now, the BAD news is, it’s only being shown in Scotland – and one needs to ask why. The slightly better news is that you should be able to se it on SKY Channel 990. However, for those of you who live somewhere other than in Bonnie Scotland, or don’t have SKY, if you wait till later in the week (and for one week only) you can watch it here… http://www.bbc.co.uk/scotland/player/?item=tv_and_radio
The programme should appear amongst the list of programmes on the right hand side of the screen. Anyone can view the programme on demand for 7 days after the transmission.
Please, DO watch it. I am certain you will find it truly fascinating.
ALL HAIL TO TERRY STEVENS…
who is in Zambia on a sponsored march… I received a quick email which told me he had fallen out of a raft and swallowed half the Zambezi River – other than that, he’s still going! Well done, mate!
LET THERE BE LIGHT… PLEASE.
The fluorescent light strip in my office wasn’t working one morning so I set off to the ironmongers (a territory unfamiliar to me). What size? The shopkeeper wanted to know. I had no idea, but I guessed at 5 feet. Back to the office. Wrong… back to the ironmonger. I picked up the 6foot version and went back to the office, put it in and… nothing. So, I managed to get the little started thingy out… back to the ironmonger. “It’s unlikely it’s the starter… are you sure you put the tube in right” I drew him a withering glance. “I’m not THAT stupid!” Back to the office… where I found the light strip lying on the floor in pieces…
AN INTERESTING EXPERIMENT.
I had taken my GPS unit on my trip down south this month so that I could use it in the hired car (By the way – ALWAYS take out the extra insurance when hiring a car… long story.) On the flight back, I got to wondering if a GPS unit would work on a ‘plane. Apart from anything else, I’d be able to follow my route. I switched it on (made sure the voice direction function was off. Apart from anything else, I have Ozzy Osbourne on mine and I didn’t want him yelling out “Turn left, and take the *#bleep#* motorway!” I also have the thing at full volume because I like to drive with the music LOUD! I then held the unit to the window to see if I could get a signal.
Well, yes, you can. Unfortunately, my unit has ANOTHER function that bleeps (and it sounds EXACTLY like the “bongs” on an aircraft when you pres the button to call the stewardess.) whenever you approach a speed trap area.
Well scooting through dozens of GATZOs at over 400 miles an hour produced a LOT of “bongs” in quick succession… and in my fumbling, do you think I could switch the damned thing off? Well, yes, eventually.
THIS MONTH AND NEXT.
I’d like to say hello to all the people I met at my recent gigs who are now on this newsletter. Gigs included the Holiday Inn, Edinburgh, More talks and planning with BBC Scotland, the Marine Hotel in Troon, Creiff Hydro and the very posh Marcliffe Hotel in Aberdeen.
Even as I finish this newsletter, I am preparing to get up at 5am tomorrow morning to fly to Manchester for a trade show, from here I will be going straight to Southampton for a further two days of trade shows, and then Norton House Hotel, Edinburgh. Later on there is a gig in Cardiff, then a flight straight back to Edinburgh where I clamber in to my car and head straight up to Old Meldrum, just north of Aberdeen. I also have a gig in Aviemore (and I’m meeting up with the sleddogs during their training in the mountains the next morning) then theirs a gig at The Balmoral Hotel in Edinburgh, and then a private party for the lovely Julie Anderson in Whitburn.
Other than that, my time is my own!
Anyway, DO let me know how you are getting on – and don’t forget to watch Ulric and Ruth – by whatever means necessary – and I will catch up with you all next month!
Best wishes,
Drew McAdam
September 2007
THIS MONTH….
LOADS OF JOKES (short ones!)
MARC BOLAN AND NORMAN TAMBLIN
EDDIE McGILL
PAUL BROOK
SAM MacKAY
BOB DYLAN
SUSAN CRAIGMILLE
ULRIC JESSOP
MARK TOWNSEND – PRIEST
URI GELLER AND CRISS ANGEL - PHENOMENON
Two hunters got a pilot to fly them to Canada to hunt moose. They bagged six. As they started loading the plane for the return trip, the pilot said the plane could take only four moose. The two lads objected strongly. ”Last year we shot six, and the pilot let us put them all on board. He had the same plane as yours." Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded. However, even with full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load and went down. A few moments later, climbing out of the wreckage, Tam asked Bob: "Any idea where we are?" Bob looked around and said: "I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year."
…Ha! Hello again, and welcome to the September 2007 Newsletter.
(If you receive this it's because we've had some dealings in the past, you're a personal friend, I met you in a pub, or because you've expressed an interest in receiving the newsletter… or all of the above. However, if you have no wish to receive further issues - just hit reply and enter "unsubscribe" in the subject box. I won't take offence!)
www.drewmcadam.co.uk
+++ I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat. +++Amazing: the three surviving members of the hard-rocking British band Led Zeppelin are to play together for the first time in almost 20-years. And an astonishing number of fans (around 80,000) every minute were hitting the Internet ticket registration site. With, literally, millions of fans trying for only a few thousand tickets, the system crashed.
That really is remarkable, given that these days most top-40 bands can’t sell enough tickets to fill a garden hut. Maybe the music of the time when I was hitting my teenage years really WAS the golden age. That’s certainly the case if the Led Zep ticket sales are anything to go by…
And talking of that era and great music, there was Hot Love, Get It On, Born To Boogie, Jeepster and so on. But this month marked the 30th anniversary of the passing of the wonderful Marc Bolan. I was a huge fan of the band T.Rex in general, and Marc Bolan in particular, as was my mate, Norman Tamblin. We LOVED the Electric Warrior album. Very few of you reading this will have heard Norman’s name before; some of you who were at school with me will remember a lovely, gentle soul.
Aged only 18, Norman had an asthma attack and died. It was the first time that our small group of chums, growing up together, ever came face-to-face with our own mortality. So Bolan’s music brings pathos, poignancy and joy. It’s something that only music – and a writer of music - can truly impart to the soul. And it’s one reason I give thanks for Marc Bolan. The man and his music.
+++ Cats have nine lives. Which makes them ideal for experimentation. +++
One of that small group of chums (mentioned earlier) invited me to a charity art exhibition – raising funds for an orphanage. This old friend of mine – we’ll call him Johnny, but his real name is Eddie McGill – had a couple of paintings on display. One of them was of the island of Fidra which lies off the coast of North Berwick where we both grew up.
Anyway, I went up to the cash desk and proclaimed that I would like to buy Johnny’s painting. Overhearing this, he swelled with pride and pleasure… somebody had bought one of his paintings. I then turned and made for the exit. The guy on the cash desk said, “Are you not going to take the painting with you?”
Fighting to keep a straight face, I said, “Good grief, no. Just chuck it in the bin… the world will be a better place without THAT thing!”
Okay, I felt guilty at Johnny’s crestfallen face. But a few seconds later, he beamed and said: “It’s a contribution, isn’t it.”
Now, for those of you who think that was mean of me, let me explain that Eddie… Sorry, I mean Johnnie… is a couple of years older than I am, and when we were growing up he was able to make my life a misery with his cutting put-downs. It took me more than 30-years to get my own back on him, but I DID it Hardehardehar (evil cackle)
+++I got a phone call today to do a gig at a fire station. Went along… Turned out it was a hoax.+++
Gigs this month involved a trip to Coventry where I had the pleasure of meeting up with a superb mind reader, Paul Brook. Paul was fascinated by Aleister Crowley (No, actually, I think you’ll find I HAVE spelled that correctly!) and later went on to gain a degree in psychology. The result is THIS – enjoy the short video clip. I guarantee you have never seen anything like it. (If you have sound, you can hear Crowley’s voice, along with an explanation of what’s going on.) Please, enjoy Paul… http://paulbrook.co.uk/vid_crowley.htm
+++ The right to bear arms is slightly less ludicrous than the right to arm bears. +++
It’s been a busy month…
I had a wonderful gig at Fawsley Hall near Daventry, along with a gig at Dunkeld Hydro, and another one at Dunblane Hydro – all wonderful, wonderful venues performing for some really lovely people. I also did a wee charity gig in Uphall, and a gig for my friend Sam MacKay at Bathgate Golf Club. That aside, I had a very laid-back performance in a lovely wee pub called Whiski, in Edinburgh’s famous Royal Mile.
Then there was a cracking little gig at St Andrews University. That aside, in the past few months I’ve also performed at Edinburgh University, and Cambridge University… can anybody get me on at Oxford? I’d like to collect the set!
Oh, and it’s about to get busier…
This month (October) I will be turning up at the Holiday Inn, Edinburgh, the Marine Hotel in Troon, Creiff Hydro, the Marcliffe in Aberdeen, then its on to Manchester and a quick exit south to a couple of days in Bournemouth before flying back from Southampton – with more dates coming in. If you are anywhere near any of these locations, let me know – I’ll be REALLY busy, but it would be great to hook up!
+++ Is it fair to say that there’d be less litter in Britain if blind people were given pointed sticks? +++
BOB DYLAN AN’ ME – HONEST!
Yes, I KNOW it’s another video clip – but, really, if you want proof that Bob Dylan is a HUGE fan of mine, then check THIS out! (And I bet you end up doing something similar…) Honestly, this is GREAT. Please take the time: www.dylanmessaging.com/messages/2GJ9-8S13-KT5H-518J-D0ZT?
+++ I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was "Shout For Help".+++
I have been told – but it’s not been confirmed - that there is going to be a great program coming up on TV. When I get the time, I like to go paragliding, and one of my associates over the years has an amazing tale to tell. His name is Ulric, and he is the subject of what promises to be one of the most astonishing stories told on TV. Ulric really IS an amazing person; and a joy to know. So please, put Wednesday October 22nd in your diary. BBC2 10pm.
Here’s what the BBC press pack said: The Most Extreme Race On Earth? (working title) BBC Two Scotland
In the summer of 2007, 30 world-class athletes began the most dangerous race of their lives – 850 kilometres across the length of the Alps travelling only by air, using a paraglider, or on foot.
Facing extreme weather and massive feats of endurance, the competitors crossed some of the most treacherous terrain in the world. Running, climbing and literally jumping off mountains, the event was probably one of the most extreme competitions ever staged.
For the first time a Scot gained entry to this amazing race. Ulric Jessop, originally from Edinburgh, faced danger, massive physical exertion and sleep deprivation all along the route. BBC Scotland gained exclusive access to Ulric's race. Cameras followed him day and night to witness this ultimate test of character which became as much a personal battle of determination and courage as a race against other competitors.
(Now, this has been given to me by a fellow flyer, Susan Craigmille, who is not the most reliable source of intelligence… in the nicest possible way (only kidding, Susan!) B– but I have had difficulty getting the dates and times confirmed. As far as I know, though, this is the correct information. Just keep your eye open on the TV listing for this. It’s going to be something really special, I assure you.)
+++ It's easy to distract fat people. In fact, it’s a piece of cake. +++
Oh, and congratulations to my new friend Mark Townsend; a mystifier with a difference. Mark is a priest in the Church of England who now uses mentalism as an expression of the deep human search for meaning and wonder. He recently appeared in The Independent and had a cracking two-page feature in this month’s Paranormal Magazine. He also very kindly sent me a copy of his book; The Gospel of Falling Down which is an exploration and self-help guide on discovering our inner gold through the cracks and flaws in our lives.
+++ If you ' re being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire… They're trained for that. +++
For our American friends… The mind of Uri Geller and the mastery of Criss Angel. PHENOMENON. If you are in the US then you will get this… Wednesday October 24 on NBC. “The search for the impossible begins.” You can check this little teaser... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5sRA6typn4 Looks GREAT, doesn’t it.
For the rest of us, we’ll just have to wait for the UK version… Watch this space!
And finally…
Last night my wife and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her: “I never want to in a vegetative state, dependant on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.”
She got up, unplugged the TV, and threw out my beer.
Ta-da!
Hey, I hope you all have a great October!
Best wishes to all,
Drew
LOADS OF JOKES (short ones!)
MARC BOLAN AND NORMAN TAMBLIN
EDDIE McGILL
PAUL BROOK
SAM MacKAY
BOB DYLAN
SUSAN CRAIGMILLE
ULRIC JESSOP
MARK TOWNSEND – PRIEST
URI GELLER AND CRISS ANGEL - PHENOMENON
Two hunters got a pilot to fly them to Canada to hunt moose. They bagged six. As they started loading the plane for the return trip, the pilot said the plane could take only four moose. The two lads objected strongly. ”Last year we shot six, and the pilot let us put them all on board. He had the same plane as yours." Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded. However, even with full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load and went down. A few moments later, climbing out of the wreckage, Tam asked Bob: "Any idea where we are?" Bob looked around and said: "I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year."
…Ha! Hello again, and welcome to the September 2007 Newsletter.
(If you receive this it's because we've had some dealings in the past, you're a personal friend, I met you in a pub, or because you've expressed an interest in receiving the newsletter… or all of the above. However, if you have no wish to receive further issues - just hit reply and enter "unsubscribe" in the subject box. I won't take offence!)
www.drewmcadam.co.uk
+++ I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat. +++Amazing: the three surviving members of the hard-rocking British band Led Zeppelin are to play together for the first time in almost 20-years. And an astonishing number of fans (around 80,000) every minute were hitting the Internet ticket registration site. With, literally, millions of fans trying for only a few thousand tickets, the system crashed.
That really is remarkable, given that these days most top-40 bands can’t sell enough tickets to fill a garden hut. Maybe the music of the time when I was hitting my teenage years really WAS the golden age. That’s certainly the case if the Led Zep ticket sales are anything to go by…
And talking of that era and great music, there was Hot Love, Get It On, Born To Boogie, Jeepster and so on. But this month marked the 30th anniversary of the passing of the wonderful Marc Bolan. I was a huge fan of the band T.Rex in general, and Marc Bolan in particular, as was my mate, Norman Tamblin. We LOVED the Electric Warrior album. Very few of you reading this will have heard Norman’s name before; some of you who were at school with me will remember a lovely, gentle soul.
Aged only 18, Norman had an asthma attack and died. It was the first time that our small group of chums, growing up together, ever came face-to-face with our own mortality. So Bolan’s music brings pathos, poignancy and joy. It’s something that only music – and a writer of music - can truly impart to the soul. And it’s one reason I give thanks for Marc Bolan. The man and his music.
+++ Cats have nine lives. Which makes them ideal for experimentation. +++
One of that small group of chums (mentioned earlier) invited me to a charity art exhibition – raising funds for an orphanage. This old friend of mine – we’ll call him Johnny, but his real name is Eddie McGill – had a couple of paintings on display. One of them was of the island of Fidra which lies off the coast of North Berwick where we both grew up.
Anyway, I went up to the cash desk and proclaimed that I would like to buy Johnny’s painting. Overhearing this, he swelled with pride and pleasure… somebody had bought one of his paintings. I then turned and made for the exit. The guy on the cash desk said, “Are you not going to take the painting with you?”
Fighting to keep a straight face, I said, “Good grief, no. Just chuck it in the bin… the world will be a better place without THAT thing!”
Okay, I felt guilty at Johnny’s crestfallen face. But a few seconds later, he beamed and said: “It’s a contribution, isn’t it.”
Now, for those of you who think that was mean of me, let me explain that Eddie… Sorry, I mean Johnnie… is a couple of years older than I am, and when we were growing up he was able to make my life a misery with his cutting put-downs. It took me more than 30-years to get my own back on him, but I DID it Hardehardehar (evil cackle)
+++I got a phone call today to do a gig at a fire station. Went along… Turned out it was a hoax.+++
Gigs this month involved a trip to Coventry where I had the pleasure of meeting up with a superb mind reader, Paul Brook. Paul was fascinated by Aleister Crowley (No, actually, I think you’ll find I HAVE spelled that correctly!) and later went on to gain a degree in psychology. The result is THIS – enjoy the short video clip. I guarantee you have never seen anything like it. (If you have sound, you can hear Crowley’s voice, along with an explanation of what’s going on.) Please, enjoy Paul… http://paulbrook.co.uk/vid_crowley.htm
+++ The right to bear arms is slightly less ludicrous than the right to arm bears. +++
It’s been a busy month…
I had a wonderful gig at Fawsley Hall near Daventry, along with a gig at Dunkeld Hydro, and another one at Dunblane Hydro – all wonderful, wonderful venues performing for some really lovely people. I also did a wee charity gig in Uphall, and a gig for my friend Sam MacKay at Bathgate Golf Club. That aside, I had a very laid-back performance in a lovely wee pub called Whiski, in Edinburgh’s famous Royal Mile.
Then there was a cracking little gig at St Andrews University. That aside, in the past few months I’ve also performed at Edinburgh University, and Cambridge University… can anybody get me on at Oxford? I’d like to collect the set!
Oh, and it’s about to get busier…
This month (October) I will be turning up at the Holiday Inn, Edinburgh, the Marine Hotel in Troon, Creiff Hydro, the Marcliffe in Aberdeen, then its on to Manchester and a quick exit south to a couple of days in Bournemouth before flying back from Southampton – with more dates coming in. If you are anywhere near any of these locations, let me know – I’ll be REALLY busy, but it would be great to hook up!
+++ Is it fair to say that there’d be less litter in Britain if blind people were given pointed sticks? +++
BOB DYLAN AN’ ME – HONEST!
Yes, I KNOW it’s another video clip – but, really, if you want proof that Bob Dylan is a HUGE fan of mine, then check THIS out! (And I bet you end up doing something similar…) Honestly, this is GREAT. Please take the time: www.dylanmessaging.com/messages/2GJ9-8S13-KT5H-518J-D0ZT?
+++ I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was "Shout For Help".+++
I have been told – but it’s not been confirmed - that there is going to be a great program coming up on TV. When I get the time, I like to go paragliding, and one of my associates over the years has an amazing tale to tell. His name is Ulric, and he is the subject of what promises to be one of the most astonishing stories told on TV. Ulric really IS an amazing person; and a joy to know. So please, put Wednesday October 22nd in your diary. BBC2 10pm.
Here’s what the BBC press pack said: The Most Extreme Race On Earth? (working title) BBC Two Scotland
In the summer of 2007, 30 world-class athletes began the most dangerous race of their lives – 850 kilometres across the length of the Alps travelling only by air, using a paraglider, or on foot.
Facing extreme weather and massive feats of endurance, the competitors crossed some of the most treacherous terrain in the world. Running, climbing and literally jumping off mountains, the event was probably one of the most extreme competitions ever staged.
For the first time a Scot gained entry to this amazing race. Ulric Jessop, originally from Edinburgh, faced danger, massive physical exertion and sleep deprivation all along the route. BBC Scotland gained exclusive access to Ulric's race. Cameras followed him day and night to witness this ultimate test of character which became as much a personal battle of determination and courage as a race against other competitors.
(Now, this has been given to me by a fellow flyer, Susan Craigmille, who is not the most reliable source of intelligence… in the nicest possible way (only kidding, Susan!) B– but I have had difficulty getting the dates and times confirmed. As far as I know, though, this is the correct information. Just keep your eye open on the TV listing for this. It’s going to be something really special, I assure you.)
+++ It's easy to distract fat people. In fact, it’s a piece of cake. +++
Oh, and congratulations to my new friend Mark Townsend; a mystifier with a difference. Mark is a priest in the Church of England who now uses mentalism as an expression of the deep human search for meaning and wonder. He recently appeared in The Independent and had a cracking two-page feature in this month’s Paranormal Magazine. He also very kindly sent me a copy of his book; The Gospel of Falling Down which is an exploration and self-help guide on discovering our inner gold through the cracks and flaws in our lives.
+++ If you ' re being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire… They're trained for that. +++
For our American friends… The mind of Uri Geller and the mastery of Criss Angel. PHENOMENON. If you are in the US then you will get this… Wednesday October 24 on NBC. “The search for the impossible begins.” You can check this little teaser... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5sRA6typn4 Looks GREAT, doesn’t it.
For the rest of us, we’ll just have to wait for the UK version… Watch this space!
And finally…
Last night my wife and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her: “I never want to in a vegetative state, dependant on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.”
She got up, unplugged the TV, and threw out my beer.
Ta-da!
Hey, I hope you all have a great October!
Best wishes to all,
Drew
August 2007
Welcome to September... Here’s what’s been happening in my strange little world in the past month.
(By the way, if you have no wish to receive further issues - just hit reply and enter "unsubscribe" in the subject box. I won't take offence!)
www.drewmcadam.co.uk
Drew McAdam Newsletter: AUGUST. 2007.
MEET YOURSELF IN THIS MONTH’S NEWSLETTER:
GARY JAMES
RICKY McLEOD
STEVE HARLEY
DAVID SUTHERLAND
HELEN KING
JOHN MACPHERSON
CHRIS COX
STEPHEN LONG
BARRY CRYER (Hello, Barry!)
LI’L EMILY
PAUL ZENON
BRIAN BLESSED
MEGA-MOUTH
Remember the film Jaws? Who doesn’t? It’s been showing a lot this month on TV and I still love that film; it always reminds me of a promotional photographic shoot at Deep Sea World that involved me pulling on scuba diving gear and clambering into the massive tank with a host of sea creatures, including two massive – and I MEAN massive – sand tiger sharks. Of course, the photographs were useless… the person with the wild, staring eyes behind the mask and regulator could have been anybody! What an incredible experience that was, though. And for those of you who are fans of the film: “We’re going to need a bigger... pair of underpants!”
PURE MAGIC
Gary James (those of you who attended the party last year will remember him well) got a great piece of coverage in this month’s Evening News. You can read it here http://living.scotsman.com/tv.cfm?id=1221192007
He really is a remarkable young man. Oh, and while we’re on the subject of Gary, congratulations to him and “Tricky” Ricky McLeod who won a prestigious magic competition at Loch Ness this month. Well done, guys!
HARLEY AND THE STONES
You’ll all know by now that I’m a massive fan of Steve Harley (and Cockney Rebel, of course!) Busy as he is, Steve has become a good friend and usually takes the time to reply to my newsletters (that’s what it’s for, folks.) So, this month I’m passing on a link to his online diary http://steveharley.com/diary.html#070807 where you can read about his escapade when he supported the Rolling Stones in Warsaw last month. Lucky beggar!
STATISTICS
There is a statistic detailing the chances of an American soldier being fatally shot in Iraq. Apparently the rate is 60 per 100,000 soldiers.
Yet the firearm death rate in Washington DC is 80 per 100,000 citizens.
The conclusion, therefore, is that the US should pull out of Washington.
THIS MONTH’S GIGS AND BEYOND
This month I had gigs in Larbert – where I saw The Singing Waiters for the first time. What a hoot they are – and then two gigs at The Dalmahoy Hotel. I also ended up doing a gig in Glencalvie, Sutherland. For those of you whose geography is a bit rusty, Sutherland is north-west of Inverness. It’s a wilderness of tumbling rivers, lochs, light, forest and hills. It’s actually closer to Arctic Circle than to London! My accommodation was in a small B&B, where the little old landlady had put a hot water bottle in the bed for my return. How sweet is that!?
One of the great things about my job is that I get to visit places that are on my tick list. And Glencalvie is one of these places. (Thank you, David Sutherland). Or, to be more exact, Croick Church, This is where one of the more “harrowing events in Scottish history took place. Known as the Clearances, 18 families were cleared from the glen where they had lived for generations. The families comprising about 90 people – men, women and children - took shelter in Croick churchyard and their wretched plight is recorded in messages scratched on the outside of the east window of the church. These writings can still be seen clearly. It’s a poignant place, and even more poignant for the fact that several of those who look after the sheep have recently been cleared to make way for forestation. Just ask hotwater-bottle-weilding Katie about that!
There was also a gig at one of my favourite hotels, Norwood Hall, Aberdeen, which gave me the chance to visit the Maritime Museum and the Thermopylae exhibition (The Thermopylae was a tea-clipper – the only ship to ever beat The Cutty Sark. My great, great grandfather was the skipper of that particular ship.)
I also had a fantastic gig at Herriot Watt University, in the very auditorium that had been the venue for my daughter’s graduation ceremony earlier this month.
All this was rounded of with a gig in Alloa. Held out of doors, it was a really energetic affair with a lot going on; part of which was me. Great stuff!
‘ELLO ‘ELLEN
Some of you who read this from my old North Berwick days will remember Helen King (We both grew up in the same street.) Well, it was my great pleasure to meet up with her again, some 30-odd years on. We had a great laugh about our schooldays and youth-club days; childhood memories and adventures. The annoying this is, she’s hardly changed!
CLICK CLICK
I bought a camera this month… I’ve always had an old cast iron office-safe-type Pentax K1000 kicking around my office, and have spent many happy hours snapping landscapes and oddities that took my fancy around Scotland over the years. So, I upgraded to a digital version of the same camera. You can see some of the results from this month’s journeys here… http://aolpictures.aol.co.uk/galleries/espmcadam
Now, while surfing the web I came across some truly astounding pictures by Scots photographer John MacPherson. We got into an email conversation, and I must say he was very kind about my efforts. However, he gave me permission to duplicate part of one of his emails which I think is just wonderful. I’d like to share it with you, so here it is – advice to a tyro snapper, though I feel the moral runs a little deeper.
“I'm regularly asked how I find the stuff to photograph, and reply - well there's no shortage of stuff, there's loads of it lying around all over the place - the challenge isn't about knowing what to include in your pictures, but what to leave out. Recording an image that 'works' is all about finding the essence of a location/subject - trying to isolate certain aspects/qualities that define it - and that’s the fun of photography. If you can strip away all the stuff that’s not relevant what you'll have left will be very very relevant.
And I did this intuitively, and didn't think too much about that process until I heard a wonderful interview on Radio 4. A rather snooty middle-class woman talking to a 'rough' sounding country fellow who carved walking sticks.
She described the standard of work on one of the pieces...’I am holding an exquisite walking stick made by Charlie, it's yew and ash combined and the handle is a leaping fish and is an elegant and sensual evocation of a brook trout in mid leap - and you can just visualise the elegant arching trajectory it took when it grabbed the mayfly in the air above the brook's glassy surface. And I'm running my hand over it, the individual scales are perfectly formed and provide grip under your palm, the dorsal fin a raised lip under your fingers. It’s a wonderfully realised piece that encapsulates both the elegance of a wild thing and the astonishing skills of the artist, for this is true artistry.....to be able to take a piece of roughly hewn wood and through some almost alchemical process create this sinuous and exquisite wild creature… Tell me, Charlie, how do you do it, how can you possibly create such life from something inert?’
To which the master replied ‘…Errr you want tae make a fish shape, so ye just cut away all the bits that don’t look like a fish, and you'll be left with.....err....um.....a fish’.
Now, when I'm asked how I can make such photographic compositions I just smile and say: ‘I just cut away all the parts that don’t look like fish.
Good stuff is all around us, all the time. We just need to look for it.”
Isn’t that wonderful?
And you can see John’s work here. http://www.john.macpherson.btinternet.co.uk/pixindex-landsca.html DO, please, spend some time looking at them. They’ll inspire you.
A WEE JOKE
A man and woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, but the woman acted unconcerned.
The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still the woman appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared.
The waitress went over to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table."
The woman calmly looked up at her and said: "No he didn't. He just walked in the door."
FESTIVAL
Edinburgh Festival again, and this year I only did a few reviews, and those were performers who interested me. (Chris Cox earned 4 stars, as did Stephen Long. But I machine-gunned the hypnotist.) Both had some wonderful new approaches to the art of mind-reading. But get this; Stephen Long rewards each participant who comes onstage to help him by suggesting they help themselves from a bag of Revels sweets, (You know, orange, toffee, raisin and so on?) On the way back to their seat, he stops them, and announces what flavour it is they’re sucking on! How DOES he do that?
BEST YEARS…
What an exciting time it’s been for my wee chum, Li’l Emily. Within a few days she has celebrated her 5th birthday, had a party, left nursery and started school – and on top of all that she has somehow taught herself to talk without ever having to breathe in. Phew! Great to share in her excitement, though, don’t you think?
SHOWTIME
Last year I wasn’t able to meet up with top TV magician Paul Zenon on his annual pilgrimage to the Festival. (I was working down south while he was performing up here.) However, this year we more than made up for it. And that’s where it gets a little bit weird.
I had driven into Edinburgh, thinking I MUST give Paul a call and find out where he is. At the same time (I later discovered) HE had been thinking that he must give me a call. To cut a long story short, I popped into a public loo and I happened to glance next to me – and there was Paul at the next urinal! (Okay, I KNOW it’s all a bit unsavoury, but it’s also rather weird.)
And in a further coincidence, I had just discovered that Barry Cryer was up for The Festival (those of you who have been getting this e-mail might remember that Barry and I were on the same bill in York.) And there he was! (I still get embarrassed when some bloke hugs me, but somehow with Barry that’s all right!)
Anyway, it just so happened that Paul had some free time, as did I. (No, really!) So we had a couple of great days. Paul wanted to visit Rosslyn Chapel – so that’s off his tick list now. We also had a couple of beers and a couple of great meals. We also took the opportunity to take in a couple of shows, including the visually stunning “Fuerzabruta”. Here is a review, entitled Sensory Overload from Nicol Husband: A man runs frantically on a conveyor belt headlong into unavoidable obstacles; nymph-like beauties writhe, close enough to touch, on water-covered perspex; women somersault across floating tinfoil walls bathed in an aura of multicoloured light as wind and water pound the audience. Is it about trying to cling onto reality as you struggle through the obstacles of everyday life? Man’s need to reconnect with nature? The necessity of taking risks to achieve fulfilment or nothing at all? Standing room only and with audience interaction aplenty, this is a unique and memorable Fringe experience.
Yeah... you had to have been there… and I was! Thanks, Paul!
BLESSED
I caught a short excerpt of Brian Blessed (the loudest man alive) on a talk show recently. What an incredible man… Funny, a great lover of life and a nice fella’ to boot. He is about to make his fourth attempt on Mount Everest – at the age of seventy! He really is somebody with whom you would just love to share a pint and listen to a selection of his stories.
Well, long before these newsletters started, I had the pleasure of working up-close with Brian on a film (terrible film, right enough!) There is nothing of the luvvie about him: what you see is what you get. One of my heroes, I guess.
And here are a couple of wonderful quotes from him: “‘Stop dreaming’ is the worst thing any teacher can say. Play, adventure, fresh air, wilderness, stimulus, travel in the end are the great educators. I can’t stand this society’s concept of success and its material needs. It’s all crap. The older I get the more all I want in life is a rucksack and a tent. And the most important thing of all is to have a go.” And then this: "Every time I see Patrick (Stewart) he weeps; 'You're going to die on one of your expeditions.' But I feel the biggest danger in life is not taking adventure.
The man speaks the truth!
Oh, and if you get this newsletter – and we meet up some time – that entitles you to hear the story about Brian Blessed and the poor sap of a fork-lift driver.
A YEAR GONE BY ALREADY?
And, finally, this from last year. Exactly a year ago, my newsletter reported this story… Can’t believe it’s a year, but here it is again for the latest additions to the newsletter mailing list (and welcome to you, too!)
A over T
For those of you who have been in my offices, you’ll know that it’s a two-storey affair, with all the toys and fun-stuff downstairs, and the nerve-centre / command room upstairs. So, there I was, in front of the computer, in my big, leather, IVI (I’m Very Important) chair... rubbing a spoon and willing it to bend (Hey, we all have to practice, you know!) I was suddenly aware that my chair felt unstable. Leaning over the arm to take a closer look, yes... it seemed that one of the solid steel and chrome legs was actually bending! I leaned a bit further to get a better view. YES! It was definitely bending... and SNAP! This was followed by a spectacular backward somersault as the whole thing tipped over. I SWEAR I saw the reflection of the soles of my shoes in the monitor as I vanished backwards. It was only by an amazing turn of fortune that I didn’t actually continue my journey head-over-heels down the stairs! Metal-bending? Enough!
ENDS
(By the way, if you have no wish to receive further issues - just hit reply and enter "unsubscribe" in the subject box. I won't take offence!)
www.drewmcadam.co.uk
Drew McAdam Newsletter: AUGUST. 2007.
MEET YOURSELF IN THIS MONTH’S NEWSLETTER:
GARY JAMES
RICKY McLEOD
STEVE HARLEY
DAVID SUTHERLAND
HELEN KING
JOHN MACPHERSON
CHRIS COX
STEPHEN LONG
BARRY CRYER (Hello, Barry!)
LI’L EMILY
PAUL ZENON
BRIAN BLESSED
MEGA-MOUTH
Remember the film Jaws? Who doesn’t? It’s been showing a lot this month on TV and I still love that film; it always reminds me of a promotional photographic shoot at Deep Sea World that involved me pulling on scuba diving gear and clambering into the massive tank with a host of sea creatures, including two massive – and I MEAN massive – sand tiger sharks. Of course, the photographs were useless… the person with the wild, staring eyes behind the mask and regulator could have been anybody! What an incredible experience that was, though. And for those of you who are fans of the film: “We’re going to need a bigger... pair of underpants!”
PURE MAGIC
Gary James (those of you who attended the party last year will remember him well) got a great piece of coverage in this month’s Evening News. You can read it here http://living.scotsman.com/tv.cfm?id=1221192007
He really is a remarkable young man. Oh, and while we’re on the subject of Gary, congratulations to him and “Tricky” Ricky McLeod who won a prestigious magic competition at Loch Ness this month. Well done, guys!
HARLEY AND THE STONES
You’ll all know by now that I’m a massive fan of Steve Harley (and Cockney Rebel, of course!) Busy as he is, Steve has become a good friend and usually takes the time to reply to my newsletters (that’s what it’s for, folks.) So, this month I’m passing on a link to his online diary http://steveharley.com/diary.html#070807 where you can read about his escapade when he supported the Rolling Stones in Warsaw last month. Lucky beggar!
STATISTICS
There is a statistic detailing the chances of an American soldier being fatally shot in Iraq. Apparently the rate is 60 per 100,000 soldiers.
Yet the firearm death rate in Washington DC is 80 per 100,000 citizens.
The conclusion, therefore, is that the US should pull out of Washington.
THIS MONTH’S GIGS AND BEYOND
This month I had gigs in Larbert – where I saw The Singing Waiters for the first time. What a hoot they are – and then two gigs at The Dalmahoy Hotel. I also ended up doing a gig in Glencalvie, Sutherland. For those of you whose geography is a bit rusty, Sutherland is north-west of Inverness. It’s a wilderness of tumbling rivers, lochs, light, forest and hills. It’s actually closer to Arctic Circle than to London! My accommodation was in a small B&B, where the little old landlady had put a hot water bottle in the bed for my return. How sweet is that!?
One of the great things about my job is that I get to visit places that are on my tick list. And Glencalvie is one of these places. (Thank you, David Sutherland). Or, to be more exact, Croick Church, This is where one of the more “harrowing events in Scottish history took place. Known as the Clearances, 18 families were cleared from the glen where they had lived for generations. The families comprising about 90 people – men, women and children - took shelter in Croick churchyard and their wretched plight is recorded in messages scratched on the outside of the east window of the church. These writings can still be seen clearly. It’s a poignant place, and even more poignant for the fact that several of those who look after the sheep have recently been cleared to make way for forestation. Just ask hotwater-bottle-weilding Katie about that!
There was also a gig at one of my favourite hotels, Norwood Hall, Aberdeen, which gave me the chance to visit the Maritime Museum and the Thermopylae exhibition (The Thermopylae was a tea-clipper – the only ship to ever beat The Cutty Sark. My great, great grandfather was the skipper of that particular ship.)
I also had a fantastic gig at Herriot Watt University, in the very auditorium that had been the venue for my daughter’s graduation ceremony earlier this month.
All this was rounded of with a gig in Alloa. Held out of doors, it was a really energetic affair with a lot going on; part of which was me. Great stuff!
‘ELLO ‘ELLEN
Some of you who read this from my old North Berwick days will remember Helen King (We both grew up in the same street.) Well, it was my great pleasure to meet up with her again, some 30-odd years on. We had a great laugh about our schooldays and youth-club days; childhood memories and adventures. The annoying this is, she’s hardly changed!
CLICK CLICK
I bought a camera this month… I’ve always had an old cast iron office-safe-type Pentax K1000 kicking around my office, and have spent many happy hours snapping landscapes and oddities that took my fancy around Scotland over the years. So, I upgraded to a digital version of the same camera. You can see some of the results from this month’s journeys here… http://aolpictures.aol.co.uk/galleries/espmcadam
Now, while surfing the web I came across some truly astounding pictures by Scots photographer John MacPherson. We got into an email conversation, and I must say he was very kind about my efforts. However, he gave me permission to duplicate part of one of his emails which I think is just wonderful. I’d like to share it with you, so here it is – advice to a tyro snapper, though I feel the moral runs a little deeper.
“I'm regularly asked how I find the stuff to photograph, and reply - well there's no shortage of stuff, there's loads of it lying around all over the place - the challenge isn't about knowing what to include in your pictures, but what to leave out. Recording an image that 'works' is all about finding the essence of a location/subject - trying to isolate certain aspects/qualities that define it - and that’s the fun of photography. If you can strip away all the stuff that’s not relevant what you'll have left will be very very relevant.
And I did this intuitively, and didn't think too much about that process until I heard a wonderful interview on Radio 4. A rather snooty middle-class woman talking to a 'rough' sounding country fellow who carved walking sticks.
She described the standard of work on one of the pieces...’I am holding an exquisite walking stick made by Charlie, it's yew and ash combined and the handle is a leaping fish and is an elegant and sensual evocation of a brook trout in mid leap - and you can just visualise the elegant arching trajectory it took when it grabbed the mayfly in the air above the brook's glassy surface. And I'm running my hand over it, the individual scales are perfectly formed and provide grip under your palm, the dorsal fin a raised lip under your fingers. It’s a wonderfully realised piece that encapsulates both the elegance of a wild thing and the astonishing skills of the artist, for this is true artistry.....to be able to take a piece of roughly hewn wood and through some almost alchemical process create this sinuous and exquisite wild creature… Tell me, Charlie, how do you do it, how can you possibly create such life from something inert?’
To which the master replied ‘…Errr you want tae make a fish shape, so ye just cut away all the bits that don’t look like a fish, and you'll be left with.....err....um.....a fish’.
Now, when I'm asked how I can make such photographic compositions I just smile and say: ‘I just cut away all the parts that don’t look like fish.
Good stuff is all around us, all the time. We just need to look for it.”
Isn’t that wonderful?
And you can see John’s work here. http://www.john.macpherson.btinternet.co.uk/pixindex-landsca.html DO, please, spend some time looking at them. They’ll inspire you.
A WEE JOKE
A man and woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, but the woman acted unconcerned.
The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still the woman appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared.
The waitress went over to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table."
The woman calmly looked up at her and said: "No he didn't. He just walked in the door."
FESTIVAL
Edinburgh Festival again, and this year I only did a few reviews, and those were performers who interested me. (Chris Cox earned 4 stars, as did Stephen Long. But I machine-gunned the hypnotist.) Both had some wonderful new approaches to the art of mind-reading. But get this; Stephen Long rewards each participant who comes onstage to help him by suggesting they help themselves from a bag of Revels sweets, (You know, orange, toffee, raisin and so on?) On the way back to their seat, he stops them, and announces what flavour it is they’re sucking on! How DOES he do that?
BEST YEARS…
What an exciting time it’s been for my wee chum, Li’l Emily. Within a few days she has celebrated her 5th birthday, had a party, left nursery and started school – and on top of all that she has somehow taught herself to talk without ever having to breathe in. Phew! Great to share in her excitement, though, don’t you think?
SHOWTIME
Last year I wasn’t able to meet up with top TV magician Paul Zenon on his annual pilgrimage to the Festival. (I was working down south while he was performing up here.) However, this year we more than made up for it. And that’s where it gets a little bit weird.
I had driven into Edinburgh, thinking I MUST give Paul a call and find out where he is. At the same time (I later discovered) HE had been thinking that he must give me a call. To cut a long story short, I popped into a public loo and I happened to glance next to me – and there was Paul at the next urinal! (Okay, I KNOW it’s all a bit unsavoury, but it’s also rather weird.)
And in a further coincidence, I had just discovered that Barry Cryer was up for The Festival (those of you who have been getting this e-mail might remember that Barry and I were on the same bill in York.) And there he was! (I still get embarrassed when some bloke hugs me, but somehow with Barry that’s all right!)
Anyway, it just so happened that Paul had some free time, as did I. (No, really!) So we had a couple of great days. Paul wanted to visit Rosslyn Chapel – so that’s off his tick list now. We also had a couple of beers and a couple of great meals. We also took the opportunity to take in a couple of shows, including the visually stunning “Fuerzabruta”. Here is a review, entitled Sensory Overload from Nicol Husband: A man runs frantically on a conveyor belt headlong into unavoidable obstacles; nymph-like beauties writhe, close enough to touch, on water-covered perspex; women somersault across floating tinfoil walls bathed in an aura of multicoloured light as wind and water pound the audience. Is it about trying to cling onto reality as you struggle through the obstacles of everyday life? Man’s need to reconnect with nature? The necessity of taking risks to achieve fulfilment or nothing at all? Standing room only and with audience interaction aplenty, this is a unique and memorable Fringe experience.
Yeah... you had to have been there… and I was! Thanks, Paul!
BLESSED
I caught a short excerpt of Brian Blessed (the loudest man alive) on a talk show recently. What an incredible man… Funny, a great lover of life and a nice fella’ to boot. He is about to make his fourth attempt on Mount Everest – at the age of seventy! He really is somebody with whom you would just love to share a pint and listen to a selection of his stories.
Well, long before these newsletters started, I had the pleasure of working up-close with Brian on a film (terrible film, right enough!) There is nothing of the luvvie about him: what you see is what you get. One of my heroes, I guess.
And here are a couple of wonderful quotes from him: “‘Stop dreaming’ is the worst thing any teacher can say. Play, adventure, fresh air, wilderness, stimulus, travel in the end are the great educators. I can’t stand this society’s concept of success and its material needs. It’s all crap. The older I get the more all I want in life is a rucksack and a tent. And the most important thing of all is to have a go.” And then this: "Every time I see Patrick (Stewart) he weeps; 'You're going to die on one of your expeditions.' But I feel the biggest danger in life is not taking adventure.
The man speaks the truth!
Oh, and if you get this newsletter – and we meet up some time – that entitles you to hear the story about Brian Blessed and the poor sap of a fork-lift driver.
A YEAR GONE BY ALREADY?
And, finally, this from last year. Exactly a year ago, my newsletter reported this story… Can’t believe it’s a year, but here it is again for the latest additions to the newsletter mailing list (and welcome to you, too!)
A over T
For those of you who have been in my offices, you’ll know that it’s a two-storey affair, with all the toys and fun-stuff downstairs, and the nerve-centre / command room upstairs. So, there I was, in front of the computer, in my big, leather, IVI (I’m Very Important) chair... rubbing a spoon and willing it to bend (Hey, we all have to practice, you know!) I was suddenly aware that my chair felt unstable. Leaning over the arm to take a closer look, yes... it seemed that one of the solid steel and chrome legs was actually bending! I leaned a bit further to get a better view. YES! It was definitely bending... and SNAP! This was followed by a spectacular backward somersault as the whole thing tipped over. I SWEAR I saw the reflection of the soles of my shoes in the monitor as I vanished backwards. It was only by an amazing turn of fortune that I didn’t actually continue my journey head-over-heels down the stairs! Metal-bending? Enough!
ENDS
July 2007
(If you receive this it's because we've had some dealings in the past, you're a personal friend, I met you in a pub, or because you've expressed an interest in receiving the newsletter… or all of the above. However, if you have no wish to receive further issues - just hit reply and enter "unsubscribe" in the subject box. I won't take offence!)
www.drewmcadam.co.uk
I had a wonderful couple of days catching up with old mindreading friends. Marc Salem was across from New York for a few weeks, so we managed to get together – and lovely, it was, too. Top mentalist from Israel, Lior Manor, was also there, so it was a great time to catch up on old times. He’s such a lovely man – as is his family. Gordon Rutter, who writes for the Fortean Times also put in an appearance, as did good chum Ian Rowland. Colin McLeod also managed to get along, so Colin and I took the opportunity to pop down to Sonning and meet up with my old chum, Uri Geller.
Uri is presently working on a HUGE television project in the US called PHENOMENON which we discussed at length. Make no mistake; he has a monster hit on his hands. He also has a weekly column in The Weekly News newspaper and was kind enough to mention our visit (referring to us as “brilliant mentalists” from Scotland. At least the “Scottish” reference was accuate!). That edition should be around until about Monday of next week.
GIGS ‘n’ STUFF
It’s been a busy month; but not for the usual reasons. July is always quiet for me in terms of gigs – because I mainly do corporate functions. It’s quiet at holiday times. Even so, my favourite gigs this month included a show for a large group of nurses in Glasgow, and a night club in Falkirk.
However, most of my time has been taken up with my other love – writing. Besides a couple of articles in The Scotsman, I’ve had a great deal of copywriting work. It’s always a pleasure to get the creative juices flowing!
Next month: there are gigs in Edinburgh, Larbert, somewhere waaaay up North, Bathgate and Alloa.
STILL GOT THE BLUES
If you are anywhere near Edinburgh on August 14 may I recommend a gig at The Liquid Rooms. Dave Arcari and Seasick Steve – you possibly caught him on Jools Holland’s show – everybody was talking about him. If you like The Blues, you’ll love this. Oh, and talking about The Blues, I managed to catch Blind lemon, with my old school colleague Ian Pettigrew on vocals and guitar. Too rare a treat, Ian!
RADIO GA GA
I was asked to do a slot on Kerang Radio in Birmingham next month. It won’t be happening… I’ve always had a habit of just saying “yes” to everything Thank God for a manager who knows his onions! Thanks, Douglas! Besides that, I’m frantically working on collecting material for a potential series with BBC radio.
THOSE MAGNIFICANT MEN…
Those who know me know that I love flying. Hellicopters, gliders, microlights – and my favourite sport for a long time, paragliding. Fellow performer Marcus Ford, of the trio Le Jazz Hot, kindly took me up in a tiny two-seater bucket thing… and what a flight! From Cumbernauls, across to Callandar, over Loch Katrine, across to Loch Lomond, and then down to Stirling. What a great way to spend an afternoon! And great company, too. Thank you, Marcus. The photo’s will be with you in due course.
ZAMBIA
Following the London to Paris cycle, I received a wonderful letter from the Zambian High Commission, just to say thank you. Nice when somebody takes the time… I think I’ll frame it.
THE ROAD TO ENLIGHTENMENT - THE TEACHINGS OF ZEN
This from Maggie Watson – you know I love this stuff!
1. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
2. If you lend someone £20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
3. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. 4. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.
5. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
6. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.7. Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.8. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxativeon the same night.
9. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tyre.
10. The darkest hour is just before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbour's' milk, that's the time to do it.
11. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish,and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
NAVIGATION
You may recall that last month I told a story about my GPS sending me on a wild goose chase, directing me in a complete circle… My cousin Sheila in the US wrote this “GPS humor: I borrowed Rob's GPS (nicknamed Screaming Myrtle after the Harry Potter movie) to get Anne and I to Shenandoah National Park. As we drove through the park along winding cliffside roads, the GPS directed me to make a left turn: directly through a small overlook area and over a cliff. She insisted on it, quite persistently. Best not to listen to those things too literally. I suspect being a female GPS she has a thing for Rob (Sheila’s husband) and was trying to “off” me....
And this from Wendy: “Drew, had to laugh when you asked if GPS has a sense of humour – xxxx’s (name deleted to protect the innocent – but it was Ewan!) elderly mother now has one and told him recently how it was rubbish as it kept sending her in the complete opposite direction from where she knew she had to go. We were at a complete loss as ours has always been spot on and suggested she return it, until in a separate conversation an hour later she asked if he would stick it to her dashboard for her - as she was having to read it turned sideways on the passenger seat!!!! Mystery solved!!
WEATHER ‘TIS NOBLER…
In Scotland – who would have thought it? The weather patterns really ARE changing. This photograph was taken by my son. It’s a pic of a tornado taken near my home town, which he chased across the region – the fool!
WE’LL SET ABOOT YE!
As you all probably already know, a couple of terrorists rammed a vehicle loaded with gas canisters and God-knows-what into Glasgow Airport this month. Some of you may even have heard of the baggage handler, John Smeaton, who had nipped out to have a fly fag when the vehicle made its unexpected entrance. He’s been on the news a great deal, and people seem to have taken him to their hearts on account of his forthright description of what he did and who he did it to. It seems that the people of Scotland in general, and of Glasgow in particular, view him as “one of them” who handled the situation as any other Glaswegian would.
Within just a few hours the text jokes and e-mails were flying. The results have been hilarious, perfectly catching the Scot’s humour (which much of the rest of the UK and the US often doesn’t quite grasp), the basic rule being: You try to kill us - we WILL take the piss. (And let’s face it, it’s hard to be a macho-terrorist when everybody is pointing and laughing!)
For foreign readers, I have taken the liberty of explaining (to the best of my ability) what the Scottish words that John used actually mean. Basically, it is the story of one brave Weegie (Glaswegian) who takes on al-Qaeda. (It seems that there were a few Weegie bystanders who decided to “have a go.”) This was described by John who – live on the news – described how everybody got “stuck in” to the terrorists. He used phrases such as “This is Glasgow, we’ll just set aboot ye.” (Behold, the birth of a new catchphrase!) In other words, screw with a Weegie, and you will be on the receiving end of some energetic, scrum-like retaliation.
As he, himself, explained: “We all tried to get a kick in… get a boot in at him.”
There follows a number of quotes from emails I have received:
“Baggage supervisor, hero, smoker – John Smeaton. Little did he know that two crazed al-Qaeda operatives were preparing to meet their Maker. But they didn’t meet their Maker; they met John.”
“A Braveheart for a modern Scotland that treats terrorism with a stiff right hook rather than a stiff upper lip.”
“Only in Glasgow can some guy who sets out on a ‘holy jihad’ and a destiny with 84 virgins in Paradise end up on fire from head to toe and getting malkied by a bystander.” (malkied; given a dashed good thrashing but with only one blow and no finesse.)
“I love the idea of these guys coming from around the world to try and bring down Western civilisation only to get the sh** kicked out of them by a weegie.”
"Only in Glasgow do suicide bombers need rescued from the locals by the police."
John did an interview on CNN and they asked how he restrained the terrorist. He said: “Me an’ other folk were just tryin’ tae get the boot in and some other guy banjoed him." (If somebody gets “banjoed”… well, imagine getting hit in the face with a banjo – the result and the noise would be rather similar.
“Carlsberg don’t make baggage handlers, but if they did…” (It’s from a TV commercial for those to whom this is unfamiliar.)
And to top it all, a web site invited those who appreciated John Smeaton’s actions to pledge £3 each, to set up pints for him at the Glasgow Airport Holiday Inn. He now has over 1,000 pints waiting for him; and they’ve had to call a halt to it.
The Daily Record is one of Scotland’s national dailies…
And just one more quote: “We can start suspecting everyone who doesn’t look like us, call for hanging and flogging, scream about sending ‘em all back home. If that’s the way Scotland wants to be, fine. Just count me out of the hystria. Because we’ll be a better nation if we stick to an old adage that was drummed into me very early in life. If you hit a Scotsman, you’d better make sure he doesn’t get back up.”
Hope you all have a GREAT August, and I’ll see you next month!
Best wishes,
Drew
www.drewmcadam.co.uk
I had a wonderful couple of days catching up with old mindreading friends. Marc Salem was across from New York for a few weeks, so we managed to get together – and lovely, it was, too. Top mentalist from Israel, Lior Manor, was also there, so it was a great time to catch up on old times. He’s such a lovely man – as is his family. Gordon Rutter, who writes for the Fortean Times also put in an appearance, as did good chum Ian Rowland. Colin McLeod also managed to get along, so Colin and I took the opportunity to pop down to Sonning and meet up with my old chum, Uri Geller.
Uri is presently working on a HUGE television project in the US called PHENOMENON which we discussed at length. Make no mistake; he has a monster hit on his hands. He also has a weekly column in The Weekly News newspaper and was kind enough to mention our visit (referring to us as “brilliant mentalists” from Scotland. At least the “Scottish” reference was accuate!). That edition should be around until about Monday of next week.
GIGS ‘n’ STUFF
It’s been a busy month; but not for the usual reasons. July is always quiet for me in terms of gigs – because I mainly do corporate functions. It’s quiet at holiday times. Even so, my favourite gigs this month included a show for a large group of nurses in Glasgow, and a night club in Falkirk.
However, most of my time has been taken up with my other love – writing. Besides a couple of articles in The Scotsman, I’ve had a great deal of copywriting work. It’s always a pleasure to get the creative juices flowing!
Next month: there are gigs in Edinburgh, Larbert, somewhere waaaay up North, Bathgate and Alloa.
STILL GOT THE BLUES
If you are anywhere near Edinburgh on August 14 may I recommend a gig at The Liquid Rooms. Dave Arcari and Seasick Steve – you possibly caught him on Jools Holland’s show – everybody was talking about him. If you like The Blues, you’ll love this. Oh, and talking about The Blues, I managed to catch Blind lemon, with my old school colleague Ian Pettigrew on vocals and guitar. Too rare a treat, Ian!
RADIO GA GA
I was asked to do a slot on Kerang Radio in Birmingham next month. It won’t be happening… I’ve always had a habit of just saying “yes” to everything Thank God for a manager who knows his onions! Thanks, Douglas! Besides that, I’m frantically working on collecting material for a potential series with BBC radio.
THOSE MAGNIFICANT MEN…
Those who know me know that I love flying. Hellicopters, gliders, microlights – and my favourite sport for a long time, paragliding. Fellow performer Marcus Ford, of the trio Le Jazz Hot, kindly took me up in a tiny two-seater bucket thing… and what a flight! From Cumbernauls, across to Callandar, over Loch Katrine, across to Loch Lomond, and then down to Stirling. What a great way to spend an afternoon! And great company, too. Thank you, Marcus. The photo’s will be with you in due course.
ZAMBIA
Following the London to Paris cycle, I received a wonderful letter from the Zambian High Commission, just to say thank you. Nice when somebody takes the time… I think I’ll frame it.
THE ROAD TO ENLIGHTENMENT - THE TEACHINGS OF ZEN
This from Maggie Watson – you know I love this stuff!
1. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
2. If you lend someone £20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
3. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. 4. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.
5. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
6. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.7. Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.8. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxativeon the same night.
9. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tyre.
10. The darkest hour is just before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbour's' milk, that's the time to do it.
11. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish,and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
NAVIGATION
You may recall that last month I told a story about my GPS sending me on a wild goose chase, directing me in a complete circle… My cousin Sheila in the US wrote this “GPS humor: I borrowed Rob's GPS (nicknamed Screaming Myrtle after the Harry Potter movie) to get Anne and I to Shenandoah National Park. As we drove through the park along winding cliffside roads, the GPS directed me to make a left turn: directly through a small overlook area and over a cliff. She insisted on it, quite persistently. Best not to listen to those things too literally. I suspect being a female GPS she has a thing for Rob (Sheila’s husband) and was trying to “off” me....
And this from Wendy: “Drew, had to laugh when you asked if GPS has a sense of humour – xxxx’s (name deleted to protect the innocent – but it was Ewan!) elderly mother now has one and told him recently how it was rubbish as it kept sending her in the complete opposite direction from where she knew she had to go. We were at a complete loss as ours has always been spot on and suggested she return it, until in a separate conversation an hour later she asked if he would stick it to her dashboard for her - as she was having to read it turned sideways on the passenger seat!!!! Mystery solved!!
WEATHER ‘TIS NOBLER…
In Scotland – who would have thought it? The weather patterns really ARE changing. This photograph was taken by my son. It’s a pic of a tornado taken near my home town, which he chased across the region – the fool!
WE’LL SET ABOOT YE!
As you all probably already know, a couple of terrorists rammed a vehicle loaded with gas canisters and God-knows-what into Glasgow Airport this month. Some of you may even have heard of the baggage handler, John Smeaton, who had nipped out to have a fly fag when the vehicle made its unexpected entrance. He’s been on the news a great deal, and people seem to have taken him to their hearts on account of his forthright description of what he did and who he did it to. It seems that the people of Scotland in general, and of Glasgow in particular, view him as “one of them” who handled the situation as any other Glaswegian would.
Within just a few hours the text jokes and e-mails were flying. The results have been hilarious, perfectly catching the Scot’s humour (which much of the rest of the UK and the US often doesn’t quite grasp), the basic rule being: You try to kill us - we WILL take the piss. (And let’s face it, it’s hard to be a macho-terrorist when everybody is pointing and laughing!)
For foreign readers, I have taken the liberty of explaining (to the best of my ability) what the Scottish words that John used actually mean. Basically, it is the story of one brave Weegie (Glaswegian) who takes on al-Qaeda. (It seems that there were a few Weegie bystanders who decided to “have a go.”) This was described by John who – live on the news – described how everybody got “stuck in” to the terrorists. He used phrases such as “This is Glasgow, we’ll just set aboot ye.” (Behold, the birth of a new catchphrase!) In other words, screw with a Weegie, and you will be on the receiving end of some energetic, scrum-like retaliation.
As he, himself, explained: “We all tried to get a kick in… get a boot in at him.”
There follows a number of quotes from emails I have received:
“Baggage supervisor, hero, smoker – John Smeaton. Little did he know that two crazed al-Qaeda operatives were preparing to meet their Maker. But they didn’t meet their Maker; they met John.”
“A Braveheart for a modern Scotland that treats terrorism with a stiff right hook rather than a stiff upper lip.”
“Only in Glasgow can some guy who sets out on a ‘holy jihad’ and a destiny with 84 virgins in Paradise end up on fire from head to toe and getting malkied by a bystander.” (malkied; given a dashed good thrashing but with only one blow and no finesse.)
“I love the idea of these guys coming from around the world to try and bring down Western civilisation only to get the sh** kicked out of them by a weegie.”
"Only in Glasgow do suicide bombers need rescued from the locals by the police."
John did an interview on CNN and they asked how he restrained the terrorist. He said: “Me an’ other folk were just tryin’ tae get the boot in and some other guy banjoed him." (If somebody gets “banjoed”… well, imagine getting hit in the face with a banjo – the result and the noise would be rather similar.
“Carlsberg don’t make baggage handlers, but if they did…” (It’s from a TV commercial for those to whom this is unfamiliar.)
And to top it all, a web site invited those who appreciated John Smeaton’s actions to pledge £3 each, to set up pints for him at the Glasgow Airport Holiday Inn. He now has over 1,000 pints waiting for him; and they’ve had to call a halt to it.
The Daily Record is one of Scotland’s national dailies…
And just one more quote: “We can start suspecting everyone who doesn’t look like us, call for hanging and flogging, scream about sending ‘em all back home. If that’s the way Scotland wants to be, fine. Just count me out of the hystria. Because we’ll be a better nation if we stick to an old adage that was drummed into me very early in life. If you hit a Scotsman, you’d better make sure he doesn’t get back up.”
Hope you all have a GREAT August, and I’ll see you next month!
Best wishes,
Drew
June 2007
NEWSLETTER / DIARY JUNE 2007
(If you receive this it's because I think you’re a cool person, or you think I’m a cool person, you’re a friend, an acquaintance or we just share the same taste in the weird and wonderful. Whatever the case, if you have no wish to receive further issues - just hit reply and enter "unsubscribe" in the subject box. I won't take offence!)
With that out of the way, I’d just like to say that the main reason for this newsletter is so that I can keep in touch with as many people as possible – but that can only happen if I know what’s going on in YOUR life. So, please, take the time to drop me a line. I really appreciate it.
www.drewmcadam.co.uk
GET OFF YOUR BIKE
Well, for those who have been receiving the newsletter for a while, you’ll know about last month’s Charity Cycle Challenge in which I got back on my bike after a ten year absence and pedalled from London to Paris in four days. I’m glad to report that I can now walk normally again, and that – thanks to all you lovely, generous people – I not only reached my target sponsorship figure, but actually doubled it! Well done, you!
GILLIAN?
One quick question… Who is Gillian Mullhall? I wrote personally to each person who sponsored me, and this person did, but I don’t have a return e-mail address. If this is you… who are you? I don’t seem to have your email address to send a personal thank you, so it may be a new married name, or summit’. Let me know!
PC ON THE PC
Here’s a thought: If it ain’t PC, you can’t do it. These days the only people you can poke fun at are white, heterosexual, males…. That’s me. I’m part of a minority group; so watch your step!
GIGS THIS MONTH
Besides the gigs, I wrote a few articles for the special reports section of The Scotsman newspaper, including a bit about entertainment and a couple of pieces about what to do and see in Scotland. Thanks for the commission, Stuart – keep ‘em coming. I enjoy scribbling!
Gigs this month included a couple at The DALMAHOY HOTEL, Edinburgh. And there was another at THE ROYAL TERRACE HOTEL.
Best gig had to be when I opened for the Science Awards at the GLASGOW SCIENCE CENTRE. This was held in the IMAX cinema – it has an “auditorium” feel and the biggest screen in the UK, I understand – to a packed house. There was a real buzz about the place, and turned out to be one of the most enjoyable gigs I’ve had in a long time.
Good gig, too, at CRIEFF HYDRO. Mind you, at one point I took a step back and, where the step to the stage should have been, there was now empty space. Great. As I vanished off to the side, one li’l ol’ lady near the front was heard to say “He didn’t know THAT was going to happen!” Oh, how I laughed… no, really.
Had the very great pleasure of performing at KING’S COLLEGE, CAMBRIDGE. This must be the grandest venue in which I have ever played. Imagine (see pic below) packed with people, stage and spotlights... what a venue!
On the way to Cambridge, something really weird happened with my beloved GPS. Having driven down the M6, the GPS suggested that I leave the motorway and travel east on the A66 which would take me to Scotch Corner and the A1. However, two miles along the connecting road, the techno-box changed its mind, sent me up a wee country, single track road and back, west, towards the M6… When I arrived back at the roundabout that would take me back onto the motorway I had been travelling on, the damn thing changed its mind again, and sent me BACK along the connecting road and on to the A1. It just made me do a complete “loop” for no apparent reason. DO these things have a sense of humour? I suspect so.
Having driven to Cambridge, performed, then hung around answering questions, I had to get up VERY early after a late night and drive back. Following a one-hour rest, my son Andrew acted as driver and took me on to the next gig – a further 184 miles up the A9 and into the Highlands – to the RAF base at LOSSIEMOUTH for a performance that night. It was worth it, though.
THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING!
It was at this RAF gig that I had the very real pleasure of meeting a young Russian lady, Elena Kourenkova who is a splendid painter with a really weird sense of humour. Take the time to check out her paintings at www.elenakourenkova.com. I think they are wonderful, and I’m sure you will too.
THAT WAS QUIRKY – AND HERE’S SOME MORE…
As most of you know, I really enjoy the quirky, so here are some idiosyncratic reports from the British Media.
(1) Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said, "We agree it was rather high for the time of year. It's possible Mr. Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that destroyed his house." (The Daily Telegraph)
Or how about:(2) Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van, because they cannot issue a description. It's a Special Branch vehicle and they don't want the public to know what it looks like. (The Guardian)3) At the height of the gale, the harbourmaster radioed a coastguard and asked him to estimate the wind speed. He replied he was sorry, but he didn't have a gauge. However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown his Land Rover off the cliff. (Aberdeen Evening Express)6) Mrs. Irene Graham of Thorpe Avenue, Boscombe, delighted the audience with her reminiscence of the German prisoner of war who was sent each week to do her garden. He was repatriated at the end of 1945, she recalled. "He'd always seemed a nice friendly chap, but when the crocuses came up inthe middle of our lawn in February 1946, they spelt out 'Heil Hitler.'" (Bournemouth Evening Echo)
CUTE FOOT
And here’s something else for you to try. Just take a few minutes and give this a go:
How smart is Your Right Foot ?
This will boggle your mind and keep you trying over and over again to see if you can outsmart your foot, but you can't. It's pre-programmed in your brain!
1. While sitting where you are at your desk in front of your computer, lift your RIGHT FOOT off the floor and make clockwise circles. 2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.Your foot will change direction. See, told you! And there's nothing you can do about it!
Cheers!
Drew
(If you receive this it's because I think you’re a cool person, or you think I’m a cool person, you’re a friend, an acquaintance or we just share the same taste in the weird and wonderful. Whatever the case, if you have no wish to receive further issues - just hit reply and enter "unsubscribe" in the subject box. I won't take offence!)
With that out of the way, I’d just like to say that the main reason for this newsletter is so that I can keep in touch with as many people as possible – but that can only happen if I know what’s going on in YOUR life. So, please, take the time to drop me a line. I really appreciate it.
www.drewmcadam.co.uk
GET OFF YOUR BIKE
Well, for those who have been receiving the newsletter for a while, you’ll know about last month’s Charity Cycle Challenge in which I got back on my bike after a ten year absence and pedalled from London to Paris in four days. I’m glad to report that I can now walk normally again, and that – thanks to all you lovely, generous people – I not only reached my target sponsorship figure, but actually doubled it! Well done, you!
GILLIAN?
One quick question… Who is Gillian Mullhall? I wrote personally to each person who sponsored me, and this person did, but I don’t have a return e-mail address. If this is you… who are you? I don’t seem to have your email address to send a personal thank you, so it may be a new married name, or summit’. Let me know!
PC ON THE PC
Here’s a thought: If it ain’t PC, you can’t do it. These days the only people you can poke fun at are white, heterosexual, males…. That’s me. I’m part of a minority group; so watch your step!
GIGS THIS MONTH
Besides the gigs, I wrote a few articles for the special reports section of The Scotsman newspaper, including a bit about entertainment and a couple of pieces about what to do and see in Scotland. Thanks for the commission, Stuart – keep ‘em coming. I enjoy scribbling!
Gigs this month included a couple at The DALMAHOY HOTEL, Edinburgh. And there was another at THE ROYAL TERRACE HOTEL.
Best gig had to be when I opened for the Science Awards at the GLASGOW SCIENCE CENTRE. This was held in the IMAX cinema – it has an “auditorium” feel and the biggest screen in the UK, I understand – to a packed house. There was a real buzz about the place, and turned out to be one of the most enjoyable gigs I’ve had in a long time.
Good gig, too, at CRIEFF HYDRO. Mind you, at one point I took a step back and, where the step to the stage should have been, there was now empty space. Great. As I vanished off to the side, one li’l ol’ lady near the front was heard to say “He didn’t know THAT was going to happen!” Oh, how I laughed… no, really.
Had the very great pleasure of performing at KING’S COLLEGE, CAMBRIDGE. This must be the grandest venue in which I have ever played. Imagine (see pic below) packed with people, stage and spotlights... what a venue!
On the way to Cambridge, something really weird happened with my beloved GPS. Having driven down the M6, the GPS suggested that I leave the motorway and travel east on the A66 which would take me to Scotch Corner and the A1. However, two miles along the connecting road, the techno-box changed its mind, sent me up a wee country, single track road and back, west, towards the M6… When I arrived back at the roundabout that would take me back onto the motorway I had been travelling on, the damn thing changed its mind again, and sent me BACK along the connecting road and on to the A1. It just made me do a complete “loop” for no apparent reason. DO these things have a sense of humour? I suspect so.
Having driven to Cambridge, performed, then hung around answering questions, I had to get up VERY early after a late night and drive back. Following a one-hour rest, my son Andrew acted as driver and took me on to the next gig – a further 184 miles up the A9 and into the Highlands – to the RAF base at LOSSIEMOUTH for a performance that night. It was worth it, though.
THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING!
It was at this RAF gig that I had the very real pleasure of meeting a young Russian lady, Elena Kourenkova who is a splendid painter with a really weird sense of humour. Take the time to check out her paintings at www.elenakourenkova.com. I think they are wonderful, and I’m sure you will too.
THAT WAS QUIRKY – AND HERE’S SOME MORE…
As most of you know, I really enjoy the quirky, so here are some idiosyncratic reports from the British Media.
(1) Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said, "We agree it was rather high for the time of year. It's possible Mr. Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that destroyed his house." (The Daily Telegraph)
Or how about:(2) Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van, because they cannot issue a description. It's a Special Branch vehicle and they don't want the public to know what it looks like. (The Guardian)3) At the height of the gale, the harbourmaster radioed a coastguard and asked him to estimate the wind speed. He replied he was sorry, but he didn't have a gauge. However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown his Land Rover off the cliff. (Aberdeen Evening Express)6) Mrs. Irene Graham of Thorpe Avenue, Boscombe, delighted the audience with her reminiscence of the German prisoner of war who was sent each week to do her garden. He was repatriated at the end of 1945, she recalled. "He'd always seemed a nice friendly chap, but when the crocuses came up inthe middle of our lawn in February 1946, they spelt out 'Heil Hitler.'" (Bournemouth Evening Echo)
CUTE FOOT
And here’s something else for you to try. Just take a few minutes and give this a go:
How smart is Your Right Foot ?
This will boggle your mind and keep you trying over and over again to see if you can outsmart your foot, but you can't. It's pre-programmed in your brain!
1. While sitting where you are at your desk in front of your computer, lift your RIGHT FOOT off the floor and make clockwise circles. 2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.Your foot will change direction. See, told you! And there's nothing you can do about it!
Cheers!
Drew
MAY 2007
DREW McADAM. MAY 2007 DIARY / NEWSLETTER.
Hello, Folks, how are you?
(If you receive this it's because we've had some dealings in the past, you're a personal friend, I met you in a pub, or because you've expressed an interest in receiving the newsletter… or all of the above. However, if you have no wish to receive further issues - just hit reply and enter "unsubscribe" in the subject box. I won't take offence!)
Tel: 01506 873013www.drewmcadam.co.uk
ON MY BIKE
The story of this month is the charity bike ride in which I took part with my colleague, David Tod. Well, it was SUPPOSED to be a charity ride, but on arriving we discovered that it was called the “London to Paris Cycle Challenge”. Yes, CHALLENGE. And what a challenge it turned out to be. 300 miles in four days to help build a school in a village in Zambia.
The first push from London to Dover was almost 100 miles across Kent. I always thought Kent was flat… No, it’s hilly. BIG hills, too. Rain, a head-wind and hills. And the story continued in France.
It was hard; harder than I expected it to be. However, by Day Three the sun was out. The scenery was fantastic and the hills were rolling, rather than majestic. Sure, there was pain and fatigue, but now the challenge was enjoyable – ‘cos we were DOING it! Mind you, David and I probably weren’t too bright; while the other riders were on space-age light-as-air thoroughbreds, he and I were riding the equivalent of pit ponies.
My machine was referred to as a “granny bike”, and the real cyclists there told David that he had done the equivalent of 3 times the actual distance, and they “wouldn’t go down the shops on a bike like that!” So, well done to him, I say. Mine was bad; his was worse!
On an emotional high in the company of 48 other riders we entered Paris. Escort vehicles and flashing lights took us round the Arc de Triomphe, down the Champs-Elysées to the Concorde, and on to the Eiffel Tower. People cheered, waved and applauded. Car drivers tooted their horns, and two young lads on motorised scooters kept us company doing wheelies.
I’ve had a lot of really fantastic moments in my life; and now I have one more. So, to riders and organisers alike – and especially to Dave – it was an honour and a privilege to experience it in your company.
SPECIAL NOTE: Thank you to the sponsors. I have been surprised and saddened by a couple of long-known and highly thought-of individuals who did NOT care to offer support, even just £1, for whatever reason - be they too busy, or forgetful, or unconvinced that building a school and helping educate children who, literally, have nothing else in the world, was a good cause. The sponsor page at http://www.justgiving.com/drewmcadam will be there for a couple of weeks, so it’s still not too late to show your support. That would mean a lot to me.
That said, I have equally been surprised – and greatly touched - by all of you who did make the effort and take the time to support me. Some of you I have barely known, yet you thought enough of me to offer sponsorship. Your support will make an enormous difference in the lives of these children. Thank you. Thank you. Your generosity has warmed my heart. Additionally, the outrageous generosity of some of you has really blown me away, so a special mention here to DON JACK, DOUGLAS CAIRNS, IAN ROWLAND, STEVE HARLEY, JAYESH TAILOR, IAN “WAXMAN” CUTHBERTSON, JOYCE and YVES, TOD MACDONALD, and last but not least, MAGGIE WATSON. Your generosity was above and beyond the call of duty.
XXX
GIGS THIS MONTH…
included: GLASGOW Hilton, a James Bond them night at The Prestonfiled in EDINBURGH. Then there was TELFORD International Centre (Hey, a stadium gig!), The Europa Hotel in BELFAST. (Interestingly, this hotel is the most-bombed in Europe… My friend Billy texted me to remind me of the Europa-vision Song Contest winner “Boom-Bang-a-Bang.”) There was also a gig at the Norwood Country House Hotel in ABERDEEN, and then a wonderful three days on the scenic island of SKYE in the company of several wonderful acts – and now new friends. Special mention to Stewart and The AbbaGirls.
All this was interspersed with great social functions including a wedding in Edinburgh – congratulations to Mr and Mrs McLurg! – and a birthday party in Ayr; also celebrating Mrs MacDonald’s 60 years of kilt making. Didn’t we have a lovely time?
Of course, there was the usual impromptu performance while in France, which means I’ve performed in London, Paris and New York… which just leaves Peckham. (Viewers of “Only Fools” will understand.)
XXX
NEXT MONTH’S GIGS:
Dalmahoy, EDINBURGH, the Hydro in CREIFF. Also, ABERDEEN and BATHGATE GOLF CLUB, Then there’s a big one at CAMBRIDGE UNIVERSITY, followed by a 700 mile drive to the RAF base in LOSSIEMOUTH. Oh, yes, and there’s more work to be done on the BBC project.
XXX
Want to see a really clever piece of guitar playing? Try this: http://youtube.com/watch?v=QjA5faZF1A8
xxx
And if you want to see something really, really, really laugh-out-loud funny, try this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRPi_dNLliY You WILL love this, I promise. (There IS a sweary word – be warned.)
Best wishes to one and all,
Drew McAdam
www.mindplay.co.uk
Hello, Folks, how are you?
(If you receive this it's because we've had some dealings in the past, you're a personal friend, I met you in a pub, or because you've expressed an interest in receiving the newsletter… or all of the above. However, if you have no wish to receive further issues - just hit reply and enter "unsubscribe" in the subject box. I won't take offence!)
Tel: 01506 873013www.drewmcadam.co.uk
ON MY BIKE
The story of this month is the charity bike ride in which I took part with my colleague, David Tod. Well, it was SUPPOSED to be a charity ride, but on arriving we discovered that it was called the “London to Paris Cycle Challenge”. Yes, CHALLENGE. And what a challenge it turned out to be. 300 miles in four days to help build a school in a village in Zambia.
The first push from London to Dover was almost 100 miles across Kent. I always thought Kent was flat… No, it’s hilly. BIG hills, too. Rain, a head-wind and hills. And the story continued in France.
It was hard; harder than I expected it to be. However, by Day Three the sun was out. The scenery was fantastic and the hills were rolling, rather than majestic. Sure, there was pain and fatigue, but now the challenge was enjoyable – ‘cos we were DOING it! Mind you, David and I probably weren’t too bright; while the other riders were on space-age light-as-air thoroughbreds, he and I were riding the equivalent of pit ponies.
My machine was referred to as a “granny bike”, and the real cyclists there told David that he had done the equivalent of 3 times the actual distance, and they “wouldn’t go down the shops on a bike like that!” So, well done to him, I say. Mine was bad; his was worse!
On an emotional high in the company of 48 other riders we entered Paris. Escort vehicles and flashing lights took us round the Arc de Triomphe, down the Champs-Elysées to the Concorde, and on to the Eiffel Tower. People cheered, waved and applauded. Car drivers tooted their horns, and two young lads on motorised scooters kept us company doing wheelies.
I’ve had a lot of really fantastic moments in my life; and now I have one more. So, to riders and organisers alike – and especially to Dave – it was an honour and a privilege to experience it in your company.
SPECIAL NOTE: Thank you to the sponsors. I have been surprised and saddened by a couple of long-known and highly thought-of individuals who did NOT care to offer support, even just £1, for whatever reason - be they too busy, or forgetful, or unconvinced that building a school and helping educate children who, literally, have nothing else in the world, was a good cause. The sponsor page at http://www.justgiving.com/drewmcadam will be there for a couple of weeks, so it’s still not too late to show your support. That would mean a lot to me.
That said, I have equally been surprised – and greatly touched - by all of you who did make the effort and take the time to support me. Some of you I have barely known, yet you thought enough of me to offer sponsorship. Your support will make an enormous difference in the lives of these children. Thank you. Thank you. Your generosity has warmed my heart. Additionally, the outrageous generosity of some of you has really blown me away, so a special mention here to DON JACK, DOUGLAS CAIRNS, IAN ROWLAND, STEVE HARLEY, JAYESH TAILOR, IAN “WAXMAN” CUTHBERTSON, JOYCE and YVES, TOD MACDONALD, and last but not least, MAGGIE WATSON. Your generosity was above and beyond the call of duty.
XXX
GIGS THIS MONTH…
included: GLASGOW Hilton, a James Bond them night at The Prestonfiled in EDINBURGH. Then there was TELFORD International Centre (Hey, a stadium gig!), The Europa Hotel in BELFAST. (Interestingly, this hotel is the most-bombed in Europe… My friend Billy texted me to remind me of the Europa-vision Song Contest winner “Boom-Bang-a-Bang.”) There was also a gig at the Norwood Country House Hotel in ABERDEEN, and then a wonderful three days on the scenic island of SKYE in the company of several wonderful acts – and now new friends. Special mention to Stewart and The AbbaGirls.
All this was interspersed with great social functions including a wedding in Edinburgh – congratulations to Mr and Mrs McLurg! – and a birthday party in Ayr; also celebrating Mrs MacDonald’s 60 years of kilt making. Didn’t we have a lovely time?
Of course, there was the usual impromptu performance while in France, which means I’ve performed in London, Paris and New York… which just leaves Peckham. (Viewers of “Only Fools” will understand.)
XXX
NEXT MONTH’S GIGS:
Dalmahoy, EDINBURGH, the Hydro in CREIFF. Also, ABERDEEN and BATHGATE GOLF CLUB, Then there’s a big one at CAMBRIDGE UNIVERSITY, followed by a 700 mile drive to the RAF base in LOSSIEMOUTH. Oh, yes, and there’s more work to be done on the BBC project.
XXX
Want to see a really clever piece of guitar playing? Try this: http://youtube.com/watch?v=QjA5faZF1A8
xxx
And if you want to see something really, really, really laugh-out-loud funny, try this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRPi_dNLliY You WILL love this, I promise. (There IS a sweary word – be warned.)
Best wishes to one and all,
Drew McAdam
www.mindplay.co.uk
Monday, April 30, 2007
April 2007
STARTS
This month:
Susie Townson
Safari
In the News
Marc Salem
The Lost Loch
A flying dog
Gigs this month
Graham P Jolley
Dave Arcari – again
...and a special mention. Ean Jones – thanks for your company. I had a ball!
Just so you know… This is the last newsletter before I head off on my marathon cycle from London to Paris. (So, next month’s newsletter will be a bit late because I can’t type and cycle at the same time!) I’m helping to raise cash to build a school in Zambia, where the little kids – many of them orphaned to AIDS - have to walk a twenty mile round trip each day to get their education, and then work in the fields all evening.
If you have already sponsored me, then bless you. I really do appreciate the fact that you are supporting me in what is going to be an arduous 300 mile cycle in around three days. I’ve been doing my bit and taking time off work to get on my bike, puffing and wheezing up the hills around my home town (managed 56 miles the other day, so I’m a lot more confident now!)
For those of you who have yet to sponsor me, thinking: “Oh, must do that some time…” NOW is the time to do it. Please. You can sponsor me online at www.justgiving.com/drewmcadam (You can also read the scathing comments from those who have already sponsored me.) DO bear in mind that it’s not about sponsoring me… it’s about building a simple school that, in the minds of the kids, will be greater than the finest and most imposing educational edifice that poses as a university. And you are giving a kid a chance.
If you don’t want to go online to sponsor me, then you can write a cheque made out to The U-Foundation, and send it to c/o Drew McAdam, 26a Society Place, West Calder, West Lothian, EH55 8EA. By the way, every penny that he U-Foundation receives goes straight to the project. There are NO administrative costs. Jay and the guys use their existing business staff and structure to do everything. Cool, huh?
ON SAFARI
It was glorious weather on a glorious day, so my friend, Li’l Emily and her mummy, Susan, headed off to the Safari Park. Not been to one in a while? Well do yourself a favour! The little lass certainly enjoyed seeing all the animals – and the astroglide. But, honestly, what a thrill to watch a 4-year old as she claps along with the Sea Lions. Her favourite, and mine, too. Grrrreat day out!
IT’S A BOY!
Congratulation to SUSIE TOWNSON and partner Jonny. Susie, who keeps wheeling me in front of TV production companies, gave birth to a little boy, Benjamin on April 3rd.
IN THE NEWS
This month, the Edinburgh Evening News ran an article “To inspire the public to take part in the Up Close and Personal Exhibition… an array of well known Edinburgh faces have turned their thoughts to their home city. Here they describe places which are significant to them and why...” The list comprised of Susan Morrison (Comedian and Talk 107 breakfast presenter), Karen Koren (Guilded Balloon artistic director and Fringe Festival impresario), James Thomson, (Restaurateur and a governor at George Heriot's School), Rhona Cameron, (Comic and author of The Naked Drinking Club), Alanna Knight (Detective novelist), Louise Hay (Edinburgh actress based in Los Angeles), Gary Mackay (Former Hearts midfielder who still holds the record for the highest number of appearances for the team)… and, eh, me; described as a Mindreader. Hmmm nice to be in such company, but Honestly!
Oh, and while we are on the subject, in the piece I mentioned my wonderful friend and mentor, PROFESSOR MARC SALEM. I have mentioned him in the newsletters before – and will again in the near future, with details of his forthcoming London show. But, for the moment, if you want to see a wonderful performance, here is a video of Marc when he appeared on the prestigious US 60-minutes programme.
http://www.marcsalem.com/movie.html I PROMISE you’ll enjoy it.
THE LOST LOCH
Wey-hey, a mystery solved. When I was out cycling, heading West across the Central Belt of Scotland on one of my training forays, the old track took me past a large body of water, which I had long suspected existed, but could never before work out where it was.
The story starts several years back when I was paragliding with a group of friends from the Pentland Hills, Edinburgh. I still don’t know exactly what happened that day, but there was a LOT of lift (that’s when all the air is going up the way.) We only had permission from Air Traffic Control (ATC) to fly at hill height – no higher. But for some reason, conditions were such that when I launched from the hillside I was lifted into the air and just kept going straight up. And up. There was a thin veil of cloud, and I ascended into it, and beyond. It was later reported to me that, from the ground, I just seemed to go straight up and then vanish. Tom, the school instructor, came across to my mate BILLY MCMURRAY and asked “Where’s Drew?” Billy pointed a digit skyward, Close Encounters style, and uttered the single word “Gone.”
While I was up there, I had a good look around – let’s face it, there wasn’t much else to do except panic and wonder when and if I would come back down. (?) It was strange; I was well above the thin layer of cloud, and the sun was setting There was no landscape detail, just the glimmer of the sun reflecting on the distant lochs and reservoirs. They were like pools of quicksilver on dark pewter. In that moment, caught in the breathtaking beauty of it, I was able to map out and identify each glistening, shimmering body of water. Except one…
And that was Hillend Loch, hidden away near Caldercruix, where I eventually found myself on the old railway cycle path… Mystery solved, and a wonderful memory rekindled.
LEGLESS
Do you, like me, enjoy really funny video clips? This is one of the best. Ever seen a dog levitate?
http://youtube.com/watch?v=SN77b9DqEbc
GIGS THIS MONTH
What a great month. Several of the gigs were in the most prestigious, beautiful, historic venues in the land. And I enjoyed every one of them. There was my usual after-dinner nonsense at ARDOE HOUSE, ABERDEEN, Then there was a small private party at PRESTONFIELD HOUSE in Edinburgh. That house is renowned for its grandeur, but to be honest it would be hard-pressed to beat NORWOOD HOUSE in Aberdeen.
As I was leaving, and handing over the keys, I mentioned to the receptionist that the client was paying, and that there was no extra charges. “I didn’t even use the mini bar,” said I. “Oh, that’s okay, sir, says she. “It’s complimentary.” Nooooo! I couldn’t even grab the key back and run back to the room, snatching a pillow case on the way.
After that came The MARCLIFFE HOTEL in Aberdeen for a charity fundraiser. Certainly, I had a ball at all of those, but the really Big Gig of the month was at CHELTENHAM RACECOURSE, sharing the top table with the mayors of both Gloucester and Cheltenham, after which I had to get up reeeealy early the following morning and drive back to Scotland for a gig at HOUSTON HOUSE HOTEL. As if all that were not enough, I had a cracking wee private gig at ARCHERFIELD HOUSE – unbelievable architecture and setting and fantastic staff. (Justin Timberlake had been there just a few days earlier, apparently... sorry he missed me!) Then, to round it all off, there was a gig at DEERPARK.
Having finished the last gig, I rushed through to Edinburgh, and the Sheraton Hotel. I have always wanted to see one of the stalwarts of my profession GRAHAM P JOLLEY perform. And this was my chance. My, he’s GOOD. And better, he’s good, AND funny. And as if that were not enough, he’s a really, really, nice bloke. What a laugh I had with him… and he at me! So, if ever you get the opportunity to see Graham perform, grab it with both hands.
Oh, and in between all this, I attended a meeting with BBC Radio Scotland, which may – or may not – produce something of value. I was working with a lady called Anne- she’s lovely, sensible and has a real grip on what she wants to do… it would be a fine project, I reckon.
BLUES AND BEYOND
If you even just glance at my newsletter from time to time you’ll know that I have a wonderful friend called DAVE ARCARI. I know that those of you who have seen this nutter in action, on his steel-bodied guitar – have been mightily impressed. Well, two things… This Saturday the 5th he’s performing at the Beinn Inn near Glenfarg. If you live in Scotland, and can make it to the gig… do. If you don’t live anywhere near the place – tough!
And while we’re on the subject of Anarchist Arcari, Radio Scotland is broadcasting a programme.. and here is the blurb: The programme charts Glaswegian alt.blues artist Dave Arcari’s travels round Scotland as he puts music to Burns’ Parcel of Rogues poem and searches for the poet’s influences and history behind the piece. The story starts when Arcari visits Dumfries for a gig and is inspired by the Parcel of Rogues poem recited by locals in the town’s Globe Inn – one of Burns’ favourite drinking dens and home for part of his life. After a crazy notion that Burns’ words would work in a more modern blues-based song, Arcari sets about writing a tune that would sit comfortably in his National guitar-driven bottleneck blues performance.
But to really get the vibe, he needs to understand more about the song, the poets and, of course, the 300-year-old Act of Union between Scotland and England that the Burns’ piece is centred around. The resulting music is just part of the programme, though. For as Arcari travels round Scotland talking to local historians, MSPs and other experts including legendary Scottish musician Tam White, the resulting set of opinions and ideas provide an intriguing thread through the programme. So, who were ‘the rogues’? What do some of Scotland’s main political players think Burns would have made of devolution? Did Robert Burns have the blues? And what has Dave Arcari come up with? To find out, tune into BBC Radio Scotland at 11.30am on Friday 4 May. If you're outside Scotland and want to listen, you can hear the programme online live from the BBC website - you can also listen again for a week after it goes out...see http://www.bbc.co.uk/ scotland/radioscotlandA 'proper' recording of the resulting track will be released (download only) by Buzz Records on Monday 7 May 2007 available through iTunes, eMusic and many other download stores. See www.davearcari.com for full info.
ALMOST THERE.
So that’s it. Next month is one of the busiest I am ever likely to have, including Cambridge, Glasgow, Edinburgh, Telford, Aberdeen, Belfast and three days on the Isle of Skye. And, not to forget, that charity cycle from London to Paris… See you next month, when I will be typing the May Newsletter/ Diary while balanced on a very large, well stuffed cushion.
Till then, take care!
ENDS
This month:
Susie Townson
Safari
In the News
Marc Salem
The Lost Loch
A flying dog
Gigs this month
Graham P Jolley
Dave Arcari – again
...and a special mention. Ean Jones – thanks for your company. I had a ball!
Just so you know… This is the last newsletter before I head off on my marathon cycle from London to Paris. (So, next month’s newsletter will be a bit late because I can’t type and cycle at the same time!) I’m helping to raise cash to build a school in Zambia, where the little kids – many of them orphaned to AIDS - have to walk a twenty mile round trip each day to get their education, and then work in the fields all evening.
If you have already sponsored me, then bless you. I really do appreciate the fact that you are supporting me in what is going to be an arduous 300 mile cycle in around three days. I’ve been doing my bit and taking time off work to get on my bike, puffing and wheezing up the hills around my home town (managed 56 miles the other day, so I’m a lot more confident now!)
For those of you who have yet to sponsor me, thinking: “Oh, must do that some time…” NOW is the time to do it. Please. You can sponsor me online at www.justgiving.com/drewmcadam (You can also read the scathing comments from those who have already sponsored me.) DO bear in mind that it’s not about sponsoring me… it’s about building a simple school that, in the minds of the kids, will be greater than the finest and most imposing educational edifice that poses as a university. And you are giving a kid a chance.
If you don’t want to go online to sponsor me, then you can write a cheque made out to The U-Foundation, and send it to c/o Drew McAdam, 26a Society Place, West Calder, West Lothian, EH55 8EA. By the way, every penny that he U-Foundation receives goes straight to the project. There are NO administrative costs. Jay and the guys use their existing business staff and structure to do everything. Cool, huh?
ON SAFARI
It was glorious weather on a glorious day, so my friend, Li’l Emily and her mummy, Susan, headed off to the Safari Park. Not been to one in a while? Well do yourself a favour! The little lass certainly enjoyed seeing all the animals – and the astroglide. But, honestly, what a thrill to watch a 4-year old as she claps along with the Sea Lions. Her favourite, and mine, too. Grrrreat day out!
IT’S A BOY!
Congratulation to SUSIE TOWNSON and partner Jonny. Susie, who keeps wheeling me in front of TV production companies, gave birth to a little boy, Benjamin on April 3rd.
IN THE NEWS
This month, the Edinburgh Evening News ran an article “To inspire the public to take part in the Up Close and Personal Exhibition… an array of well known Edinburgh faces have turned their thoughts to their home city. Here they describe places which are significant to them and why...” The list comprised of Susan Morrison (Comedian and Talk 107 breakfast presenter), Karen Koren (Guilded Balloon artistic director and Fringe Festival impresario), James Thomson, (Restaurateur and a governor at George Heriot's School), Rhona Cameron, (Comic and author of The Naked Drinking Club), Alanna Knight (Detective novelist), Louise Hay (Edinburgh actress based in Los Angeles), Gary Mackay (Former Hearts midfielder who still holds the record for the highest number of appearances for the team)… and, eh, me; described as a Mindreader. Hmmm nice to be in such company, but Honestly!
Oh, and while we are on the subject, in the piece I mentioned my wonderful friend and mentor, PROFESSOR MARC SALEM. I have mentioned him in the newsletters before – and will again in the near future, with details of his forthcoming London show. But, for the moment, if you want to see a wonderful performance, here is a video of Marc when he appeared on the prestigious US 60-minutes programme.
http://www.marcsalem.com/movie.html I PROMISE you’ll enjoy it.
THE LOST LOCH
Wey-hey, a mystery solved. When I was out cycling, heading West across the Central Belt of Scotland on one of my training forays, the old track took me past a large body of water, which I had long suspected existed, but could never before work out where it was.
The story starts several years back when I was paragliding with a group of friends from the Pentland Hills, Edinburgh. I still don’t know exactly what happened that day, but there was a LOT of lift (that’s when all the air is going up the way.) We only had permission from Air Traffic Control (ATC) to fly at hill height – no higher. But for some reason, conditions were such that when I launched from the hillside I was lifted into the air and just kept going straight up. And up. There was a thin veil of cloud, and I ascended into it, and beyond. It was later reported to me that, from the ground, I just seemed to go straight up and then vanish. Tom, the school instructor, came across to my mate BILLY MCMURRAY and asked “Where’s Drew?” Billy pointed a digit skyward, Close Encounters style, and uttered the single word “Gone.”
While I was up there, I had a good look around – let’s face it, there wasn’t much else to do except panic and wonder when and if I would come back down. (?) It was strange; I was well above the thin layer of cloud, and the sun was setting There was no landscape detail, just the glimmer of the sun reflecting on the distant lochs and reservoirs. They were like pools of quicksilver on dark pewter. In that moment, caught in the breathtaking beauty of it, I was able to map out and identify each glistening, shimmering body of water. Except one…
And that was Hillend Loch, hidden away near Caldercruix, where I eventually found myself on the old railway cycle path… Mystery solved, and a wonderful memory rekindled.
LEGLESS
Do you, like me, enjoy really funny video clips? This is one of the best. Ever seen a dog levitate?
http://youtube.com/watch?v=SN77b9DqEbc
GIGS THIS MONTH
What a great month. Several of the gigs were in the most prestigious, beautiful, historic venues in the land. And I enjoyed every one of them. There was my usual after-dinner nonsense at ARDOE HOUSE, ABERDEEN, Then there was a small private party at PRESTONFIELD HOUSE in Edinburgh. That house is renowned for its grandeur, but to be honest it would be hard-pressed to beat NORWOOD HOUSE in Aberdeen.
As I was leaving, and handing over the keys, I mentioned to the receptionist that the client was paying, and that there was no extra charges. “I didn’t even use the mini bar,” said I. “Oh, that’s okay, sir, says she. “It’s complimentary.” Nooooo! I couldn’t even grab the key back and run back to the room, snatching a pillow case on the way.
After that came The MARCLIFFE HOTEL in Aberdeen for a charity fundraiser. Certainly, I had a ball at all of those, but the really Big Gig of the month was at CHELTENHAM RACECOURSE, sharing the top table with the mayors of both Gloucester and Cheltenham, after which I had to get up reeeealy early the following morning and drive back to Scotland for a gig at HOUSTON HOUSE HOTEL. As if all that were not enough, I had a cracking wee private gig at ARCHERFIELD HOUSE – unbelievable architecture and setting and fantastic staff. (Justin Timberlake had been there just a few days earlier, apparently... sorry he missed me!) Then, to round it all off, there was a gig at DEERPARK.
Having finished the last gig, I rushed through to Edinburgh, and the Sheraton Hotel. I have always wanted to see one of the stalwarts of my profession GRAHAM P JOLLEY perform. And this was my chance. My, he’s GOOD. And better, he’s good, AND funny. And as if that were not enough, he’s a really, really, nice bloke. What a laugh I had with him… and he at me! So, if ever you get the opportunity to see Graham perform, grab it with both hands.
Oh, and in between all this, I attended a meeting with BBC Radio Scotland, which may – or may not – produce something of value. I was working with a lady called Anne- she’s lovely, sensible and has a real grip on what she wants to do… it would be a fine project, I reckon.
BLUES AND BEYOND
If you even just glance at my newsletter from time to time you’ll know that I have a wonderful friend called DAVE ARCARI. I know that those of you who have seen this nutter in action, on his steel-bodied guitar – have been mightily impressed. Well, two things… This Saturday the 5th he’s performing at the Beinn Inn near Glenfarg. If you live in Scotland, and can make it to the gig… do. If you don’t live anywhere near the place – tough!
And while we’re on the subject of Anarchist Arcari, Radio Scotland is broadcasting a programme.. and here is the blurb: The programme charts Glaswegian alt.blues artist Dave Arcari’s travels round Scotland as he puts music to Burns’ Parcel of Rogues poem and searches for the poet’s influences and history behind the piece. The story starts when Arcari visits Dumfries for a gig and is inspired by the Parcel of Rogues poem recited by locals in the town’s Globe Inn – one of Burns’ favourite drinking dens and home for part of his life. After a crazy notion that Burns’ words would work in a more modern blues-based song, Arcari sets about writing a tune that would sit comfortably in his National guitar-driven bottleneck blues performance.
But to really get the vibe, he needs to understand more about the song, the poets and, of course, the 300-year-old Act of Union between Scotland and England that the Burns’ piece is centred around. The resulting music is just part of the programme, though. For as Arcari travels round Scotland talking to local historians, MSPs and other experts including legendary Scottish musician Tam White, the resulting set of opinions and ideas provide an intriguing thread through the programme. So, who were ‘the rogues’? What do some of Scotland’s main political players think Burns would have made of devolution? Did Robert Burns have the blues? And what has Dave Arcari come up with? To find out, tune into BBC Radio Scotland at 11.30am on Friday 4 May. If you're outside Scotland and want to listen, you can hear the programme online live from the BBC website - you can also listen again for a week after it goes out...see http://www.bbc.co.uk/ scotland/radioscotlandA 'proper' recording of the resulting track will be released (download only) by Buzz Records on Monday 7 May 2007 available through iTunes, eMusic and many other download stores. See www.davearcari.com for full info.
ALMOST THERE.
So that’s it. Next month is one of the busiest I am ever likely to have, including Cambridge, Glasgow, Edinburgh, Telford, Aberdeen, Belfast and three days on the Isle of Skye. And, not to forget, that charity cycle from London to Paris… See you next month, when I will be typing the May Newsletter/ Diary while balanced on a very large, well stuffed cushion.
Till then, take care!
ENDS
March 2007
(If you receive this it's because we've had some dealings in the past, you're a personal friend, or because you've expressed an interest in receiving the newsletter… or all of the above. However, if you have no wish to receive further issues - just hit reply and enter "unsubscribe" in the subject box. I won't take offence!)
www.mindplay.co.uk
Drew McAdam: MARCH 2007 NEWSLETTER
JANE INNES
DAVID TOD
DOUGLAS GILLESPIE
NEIL GRANT
FRED MACAULEY
STEVE HARLEY
LINDA RUNCIMAN
DAVE ARCARI
DOUGIE MCQUILLAN
Hello everybody!
SICK OF CYCLING
As most of you know, I’m taking part in a charity cycling trip from London to Paris in May, and have undertaken to cover the 300 miles in four days. (My friend and energetic Cockney Rebel, Steve Harley, has just cycled through Death Valley and refers to my venture as “small beans”. He might just be right; but I’m a small guy!)
Training. Training? The weather has been unbelievable here; pouring rain and gales. Even so, I have sallied forth on my bike during the breaks, and it’s proving even harder than I had imagined. Did you know that being on a bicycle makes you invisible? Just as one example, the other day I was cycling through the narrow main street of West Calder and past a traffic island. A bus driver decided that HE could fit in the space, too. And he could. Just. It was pucker factor nine for me, though! (That said, he kindly put on his hazard warning lights by way of apology.)
So, I am STILL looking for you friendly people to sponsor the cycle trip. You KNOW it’s for a great cause. Building a school in Zambia for youngsters, many of them orphans to AIDS, who have to walk ten miles every day – and back – because they are desperate for an education. And when not doing that they are working in the fields. Seems like a great cause, doncha’ think? I mean… building a REAL school. So, you can sponsor me online – dead easy – right here: www.justgiving.com/drewmcadam (You can also read the scathing comments from those who have already sponsored me.) And this is especially for those of you who were going to join me on the trip, but decided against it – for whatever reason. You know who you are! Don’t make me name you and shame you! Several people have kindly sent cheques, made out to The U-Foundation, c/o Drew McAdam, 26a Society Place, West Calder, West Lohian, EH55 8EA. By the way, every penny that he U-Foundation receiver goes straight to the project. There are NO administrative costs. Jay and the guys use their existing business staff to do everything. Cool, huh?
Oh, and talking of people joining me on the trip; DAVID TOD of Full Circle Graphics didn’t even have to be asked. He volunteered; which makes him as much of an eejit as me!
BIG thanks to all those who have already chucked a few bob into the pot. You have no idea how much I appreciate your kind thoughts and generosity. There is a short “upbeat” video where you can see the kids who will benefit, right here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=NWBYrXIkve4
TRICKS
Had a great little gig up at the Dunkeld Hilton – again. Fred MacAulay, Radio Scotland presenter and participant in Celebrity Fame Academy, was “doing his thing” at the same event. Good grief, he is a VERY funny man - and a nice guy, too. He was in the company of my manager, Douglas. Now, Douglas has a fine sense of humour. Just how fine is yet to be established after I managed to tack a “Kick Me” sign onto the back of his coat earlier in the evening. (A schoolboy prank, I know, but it makes ME laugh.)
A few days later, Douglas demonstrated his own (warped) sense of humour. You know those moments when a practical joke presents itself and you just HAVE to take it? Well, I was with Douglas, in his office, when somebody phoned him looking for a specific act. Give Douglas his due, he told the caller that he had a great mindreading act, and not only did he read minds, but he stopped watches, bent spoons, and so on. Douglas was taken aback when the caller said that she actually knew this person, that she had seen him work a couple of times. “It’s Drew McAdam, isn’t it?” At this point Douglas told her that he could do a wonderful impression of this Drew McAdam… The phone was then passed back and forward to me as this lady became more increasingly amazed at Douglas’ ability to perfectly impersonate me! Great fun!
NB I phoned the lady the next day to explain and apologise.
THE PAST CATCHES UP
You know those moments when you’re trying to work and some salesperson phones you? Well, every so often you get a really nice, positive, jolly person on the phone; they are a pleasure to talk to – the REAL salesperson. Well, exactly that happened to me when a salesperson for a training company called me. Within a few moments she asked what I actually did for a living, and I told her. “I was at school with you,” she informed me. And she was, too! LINDA RUNCIMAN, as she was then, is now married and living under her married name. Of course, I remember her as one of the “lookers” at North Berwick High School (waaaay too good for me!) Nice to know she is as lovely a person now as she was then!
DOUGIE McQUILLAN AND DAVE ARCARI
Those of you who know me will have heard me wax lyrical about Dougie McQuillan – the man and his music. He tells me that he is not long back from Cape Town where he went shark diving, climbed up Table Mountain and Cape Point, tried to drink all the red wine in the country and even went to see Cliff Richard. Of course, he had to stay sober for his gig, and long enough to pick up his fee. Hands up all those who think musicians have a hard life? Okay, not a hand in sight; that’s the way it should be.
And, of course, I know a few of you have already caught DAVE ARCARI do his thing – a sight and a sound to behold. Several of you have asked me when and where they can catch him in concert. He’s just back from California, but here are a few dates. Some in Scotland!)Wed 2 May – Nice n Sleazy, GlasgowSat 5 May – The Bein Inn, GlenfargMon 14 May – John Wheatley College, Glasgow (afternoon)Fri 18 May – The Moon & Sixpence, GlossopSat 19 May – The Simple Simon, WarwickSun 20 May – Katie Fitzgeralds, StourbridgeThur 24 May – Classic Grand, GlasgowFri 25 May – A K Bell Library, PerthMon 28 May – MAMAS @ The Crieff HotelSat 2 June – Ag Ol Anns An Achadh bike rally, West Calder…… and isn’t that just typical? Dave will be in West Calder. I’ll be in Paris! But, Dave, there is a key under the mat if you need a cup of coffee… but NO parties! J For more details, Dave's current gig list (always growing) can be seen at http://www.davearcari.com/
FROLICS IN FORRES
Had a great gig for some wonderful people in a little village just outside Forres. A visit to the small town gave me the opportunity of visiting my old friend (of over 30 years!) NEIL GRANT, and spending a very nice lunch time of almost three hours at the Italian restaurant of the “Mad Roman “I’ve been shot in the head, you know” Tony. (Best Italian restaurant it’s been my pleasure to frequent.)
Thank you, Jane for the opportunity of performing before your family and friends. I had a great time, and I’m sure they did, too!
Following that performance, I met up with Neil in his local; The Abbey, where the barman recognised me, and I spent another three hours bending spoons and reading minds. Tiring, but fun… and a lot easier than real work!
ENDS
www.mindplay.co.uk
Drew McAdam: MARCH 2007 NEWSLETTER
JANE INNES
DAVID TOD
DOUGLAS GILLESPIE
NEIL GRANT
FRED MACAULEY
STEVE HARLEY
LINDA RUNCIMAN
DAVE ARCARI
DOUGIE MCQUILLAN
Hello everybody!
SICK OF CYCLING
As most of you know, I’m taking part in a charity cycling trip from London to Paris in May, and have undertaken to cover the 300 miles in four days. (My friend and energetic Cockney Rebel, Steve Harley, has just cycled through Death Valley and refers to my venture as “small beans”. He might just be right; but I’m a small guy!)
Training. Training? The weather has been unbelievable here; pouring rain and gales. Even so, I have sallied forth on my bike during the breaks, and it’s proving even harder than I had imagined. Did you know that being on a bicycle makes you invisible? Just as one example, the other day I was cycling through the narrow main street of West Calder and past a traffic island. A bus driver decided that HE could fit in the space, too. And he could. Just. It was pucker factor nine for me, though! (That said, he kindly put on his hazard warning lights by way of apology.)
So, I am STILL looking for you friendly people to sponsor the cycle trip. You KNOW it’s for a great cause. Building a school in Zambia for youngsters, many of them orphans to AIDS, who have to walk ten miles every day – and back – because they are desperate for an education. And when not doing that they are working in the fields. Seems like a great cause, doncha’ think? I mean… building a REAL school. So, you can sponsor me online – dead easy – right here: www.justgiving.com/drewmcadam (You can also read the scathing comments from those who have already sponsored me.) And this is especially for those of you who were going to join me on the trip, but decided against it – for whatever reason. You know who you are! Don’t make me name you and shame you! Several people have kindly sent cheques, made out to The U-Foundation, c/o Drew McAdam, 26a Society Place, West Calder, West Lohian, EH55 8EA. By the way, every penny that he U-Foundation receiver goes straight to the project. There are NO administrative costs. Jay and the guys use their existing business staff to do everything. Cool, huh?
Oh, and talking of people joining me on the trip; DAVID TOD of Full Circle Graphics didn’t even have to be asked. He volunteered; which makes him as much of an eejit as me!
BIG thanks to all those who have already chucked a few bob into the pot. You have no idea how much I appreciate your kind thoughts and generosity. There is a short “upbeat” video where you can see the kids who will benefit, right here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=NWBYrXIkve4
TRICKS
Had a great little gig up at the Dunkeld Hilton – again. Fred MacAulay, Radio Scotland presenter and participant in Celebrity Fame Academy, was “doing his thing” at the same event. Good grief, he is a VERY funny man - and a nice guy, too. He was in the company of my manager, Douglas. Now, Douglas has a fine sense of humour. Just how fine is yet to be established after I managed to tack a “Kick Me” sign onto the back of his coat earlier in the evening. (A schoolboy prank, I know, but it makes ME laugh.)
A few days later, Douglas demonstrated his own (warped) sense of humour. You know those moments when a practical joke presents itself and you just HAVE to take it? Well, I was with Douglas, in his office, when somebody phoned him looking for a specific act. Give Douglas his due, he told the caller that he had a great mindreading act, and not only did he read minds, but he stopped watches, bent spoons, and so on. Douglas was taken aback when the caller said that she actually knew this person, that she had seen him work a couple of times. “It’s Drew McAdam, isn’t it?” At this point Douglas told her that he could do a wonderful impression of this Drew McAdam… The phone was then passed back and forward to me as this lady became more increasingly amazed at Douglas’ ability to perfectly impersonate me! Great fun!
NB I phoned the lady the next day to explain and apologise.
THE PAST CATCHES UP
You know those moments when you’re trying to work and some salesperson phones you? Well, every so often you get a really nice, positive, jolly person on the phone; they are a pleasure to talk to – the REAL salesperson. Well, exactly that happened to me when a salesperson for a training company called me. Within a few moments she asked what I actually did for a living, and I told her. “I was at school with you,” she informed me. And she was, too! LINDA RUNCIMAN, as she was then, is now married and living under her married name. Of course, I remember her as one of the “lookers” at North Berwick High School (waaaay too good for me!) Nice to know she is as lovely a person now as she was then!
DOUGIE McQUILLAN AND DAVE ARCARI
Those of you who know me will have heard me wax lyrical about Dougie McQuillan – the man and his music. He tells me that he is not long back from Cape Town where he went shark diving, climbed up Table Mountain and Cape Point, tried to drink all the red wine in the country and even went to see Cliff Richard. Of course, he had to stay sober for his gig, and long enough to pick up his fee. Hands up all those who think musicians have a hard life? Okay, not a hand in sight; that’s the way it should be.
And, of course, I know a few of you have already caught DAVE ARCARI do his thing – a sight and a sound to behold. Several of you have asked me when and where they can catch him in concert. He’s just back from California, but here are a few dates. Some in Scotland!)Wed 2 May – Nice n Sleazy, GlasgowSat 5 May – The Bein Inn, GlenfargMon 14 May – John Wheatley College, Glasgow (afternoon)Fri 18 May – The Moon & Sixpence, GlossopSat 19 May – The Simple Simon, WarwickSun 20 May – Katie Fitzgeralds, StourbridgeThur 24 May – Classic Grand, GlasgowFri 25 May – A K Bell Library, PerthMon 28 May – MAMAS @ The Crieff HotelSat 2 June – Ag Ol Anns An Achadh bike rally, West Calder…… and isn’t that just typical? Dave will be in West Calder. I’ll be in Paris! But, Dave, there is a key under the mat if you need a cup of coffee… but NO parties! J For more details, Dave's current gig list (always growing) can be seen at http://www.davearcari.com/
FROLICS IN FORRES
Had a great gig for some wonderful people in a little village just outside Forres. A visit to the small town gave me the opportunity of visiting my old friend (of over 30 years!) NEIL GRANT, and spending a very nice lunch time of almost three hours at the Italian restaurant of the “Mad Roman “I’ve been shot in the head, you know” Tony. (Best Italian restaurant it’s been my pleasure to frequent.)
Thank you, Jane for the opportunity of performing before your family and friends. I had a great time, and I’m sure they did, too!
Following that performance, I met up with Neil in his local; The Abbey, where the barman recognised me, and I spent another three hours bending spoons and reading minds. Tiring, but fun… and a lot easier than real work!
ENDS
February 2007
I’m gonna keep this one short. (February is always a quiet month for me, though I had great fun with gigs at, amongst others, the Glasgow Hilton and in Hinkley, Leicestershire... But there are more important things to cover here.
First of all, Happy Birthday, Mummy!
As some of you are already aware, I am training (and I use the word loosely) for a 300-mile charity cycle from London to Paris. My good friend Ean Jones, on discovering exactly what this entailed, wrote: “Please stress to people you are doing this in just 4 days, not 4 weeks! AND... if you really are (you're not, surely...SURELY??) going to do this on a bike with - in relative terms - tractor wheels, please broadcast this fact as well!”
Okay – I’ve done that. It’s NOT a jaunt to Paris, but a serious attempt to give myself leg-lesions and bottom-blisters. But it IS for a good cause. You can view a short, up-beat video here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=NWBYrXIkve4
Now, here’s your chance to make your mark. Just log onto www.justgiving.com/drewmcadam and you can help send me on my way. For those who already have, I thank you – you have all surprised me with your generosity and it is deeply, deeply appreciated. For those who haven’t - I would value a wee nod in my direction. This is the first – and last – time I’m doing something like this. Ever!
Now to some lighter stuff, which I hope you, enjoy.
XXX
Gladys Chucklebutty started me off on this one...
Born in the Fifties? Amazing we survived, considering that we were born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us. As though that were not bad enough, they took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.
Then, after that trauma, our cots – not to mention most of the toys we stuffed into our mouths - were covered with brightly coloured lead-based paints. Come to think of it, we had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets. And when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets. Though we DID have an ice-lolly stick hitting the spokes in an attempt to make it sound like a motorcycle.
We drank water from the garden hose – or puddles if REALLY thirsty, and NOT from a designer bottle. We shared one bottle of fizzy soft drink with four friends, giving it a cursory wipe on a sleeve before each slug. And NO ONE actually died from this. If we dropped a sweet on the ground, the three-second rule applied.
We ate cakes, biscuits, crisps, chocolate, white bread and real butter washed down by full-fat soft drinks, but we weren't overweight because... WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING! Indeed, we would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
Our dads would let us stick our heads out of car windows at speed so we could feel a 50mph wind whistling up our noses.
We didn’t have Play Stations, Nintendo's, X-boxes... no video games whatsoever. There was no 99 channels on cable, no DVD’s, no surround-sound, no mobile phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms. No Bratz. No teenage soap operas... Instead, we had friends, and we went outside and found them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth - and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. We ate worms and tasted mud pies... and the worms did not live in us forever. We made up games with sticks and tennis balls, and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.
Instead of phoning, we actually walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or – more likely - just yelled for them! Playground games teams were selected by one-potato, two-potato. And in school sports, not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with the disappointment, and if they were determined to make the team next time, then practice! Imagine that!
AND YET - This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem-solvers and inventors - ever! The past 30 years have been an explosion of innovation, imagination, and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we actually learned how to deal with it all.
And YOU are one of them! CONGRATULATIONS!
You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government – along with the Health and Safety nazis - regulated our lives for our own good. And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave their parents were.
Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?!
AND THIS FROM VARIOUS OTHER SOURCES...
I was reading this book today, The History Of Glue, and I couldn't put it down. I phoned the local ramblers club today, and this bloke just went on and on.My mate is in love with two schoolbags. He's bisatchel.So I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on it. I thought: That's Aboriginal.
XXX
You all know by now that I love quirky definitions... so here are some more, just for you...
Antelope (v): to run off with your mother’s sister.Assassination (n): an arrangement to meet a donkey.Basket (n): a short nap in the sun.Diarrhoea (n) a very unattractive bottom. Dictator (n): hilariously shaped, edible tuber.Dipthong (v): to wash a lady's undergarment. Dumpling (n): small lump of excrement. Gastronome (n): small person prone to excess wind.Innuendo (n): Italian suppository. Ostentatious: make and model of a pre-war British luxury car.Propaganda (n): a wooden support for one-legged male geese.
TOLD YOU I WAS KEEPING IT SHORT. I hope you enjoyed it, though!
Best wishes, and don’t forget www.justgiving.com/drewmcadam
Drew
First of all, Happy Birthday, Mummy!
As some of you are already aware, I am training (and I use the word loosely) for a 300-mile charity cycle from London to Paris. My good friend Ean Jones, on discovering exactly what this entailed, wrote: “Please stress to people you are doing this in just 4 days, not 4 weeks! AND... if you really are (you're not, surely...SURELY??) going to do this on a bike with - in relative terms - tractor wheels, please broadcast this fact as well!”
Okay – I’ve done that. It’s NOT a jaunt to Paris, but a serious attempt to give myself leg-lesions and bottom-blisters. But it IS for a good cause. You can view a short, up-beat video here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=NWBYrXIkve4
Now, here’s your chance to make your mark. Just log onto www.justgiving.com/drewmcadam and you can help send me on my way. For those who already have, I thank you – you have all surprised me with your generosity and it is deeply, deeply appreciated. For those who haven’t - I would value a wee nod in my direction. This is the first – and last – time I’m doing something like this. Ever!
Now to some lighter stuff, which I hope you, enjoy.
XXX
Gladys Chucklebutty started me off on this one...
Born in the Fifties? Amazing we survived, considering that we were born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us. As though that were not bad enough, they took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.
Then, after that trauma, our cots – not to mention most of the toys we stuffed into our mouths - were covered with brightly coloured lead-based paints. Come to think of it, we had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets. And when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets. Though we DID have an ice-lolly stick hitting the spokes in an attempt to make it sound like a motorcycle.
We drank water from the garden hose – or puddles if REALLY thirsty, and NOT from a designer bottle. We shared one bottle of fizzy soft drink with four friends, giving it a cursory wipe on a sleeve before each slug. And NO ONE actually died from this. If we dropped a sweet on the ground, the three-second rule applied.
We ate cakes, biscuits, crisps, chocolate, white bread and real butter washed down by full-fat soft drinks, but we weren't overweight because... WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING! Indeed, we would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
Our dads would let us stick our heads out of car windows at speed so we could feel a 50mph wind whistling up our noses.
We didn’t have Play Stations, Nintendo's, X-boxes... no video games whatsoever. There was no 99 channels on cable, no DVD’s, no surround-sound, no mobile phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms. No Bratz. No teenage soap operas... Instead, we had friends, and we went outside and found them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth - and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. We ate worms and tasted mud pies... and the worms did not live in us forever. We made up games with sticks and tennis balls, and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.
Instead of phoning, we actually walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or – more likely - just yelled for them! Playground games teams were selected by one-potato, two-potato. And in school sports, not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with the disappointment, and if they were determined to make the team next time, then practice! Imagine that!
AND YET - This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem-solvers and inventors - ever! The past 30 years have been an explosion of innovation, imagination, and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we actually learned how to deal with it all.
And YOU are one of them! CONGRATULATIONS!
You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government – along with the Health and Safety nazis - regulated our lives for our own good. And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave their parents were.
Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?!
AND THIS FROM VARIOUS OTHER SOURCES...
I was reading this book today, The History Of Glue, and I couldn't put it down. I phoned the local ramblers club today, and this bloke just went on and on.My mate is in love with two schoolbags. He's bisatchel.So I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on it. I thought: That's Aboriginal.
XXX
You all know by now that I love quirky definitions... so here are some more, just for you...
Antelope (v): to run off with your mother’s sister.Assassination (n): an arrangement to meet a donkey.Basket (n): a short nap in the sun.Diarrhoea (n) a very unattractive bottom. Dictator (n): hilariously shaped, edible tuber.Dipthong (v): to wash a lady's undergarment. Dumpling (n): small lump of excrement. Gastronome (n): small person prone to excess wind.Innuendo (n): Italian suppository. Ostentatious: make and model of a pre-war British luxury car.Propaganda (n): a wooden support for one-legged male geese.
TOLD YOU I WAS KEEPING IT SHORT. I hope you enjoyed it, though!
Best wishes, and don’t forget www.justgiving.com/drewmcadam
Drew
January 2007
NEW WEB SITE
CLOSE ONE
THANK YOU (PETER WILLATS)
THIS MONTH
ON YER BIKE – THE ADVENTURE BEGINS
DEFINITIONS
VIDEOS WORTH WATCHING. Brain Morrison, Flying and An Amazing Mind
ARCARI ON GUITAR
WOMEN ARE SMART
NEW WEB SITE
Hey, hey – I have a new website, loving designed and executed by the very talented chaps at Ideas.co.uk in Falkirk. You can even access the videos from one of the pages. DO have a look, and let me know what you think. www.mindplay.co.uk
CLOSE ONE
just today, it’s the last day of the month and I’m driving along the A71 – doing around 60. Unbeknown to me, the suspension spring is broken. I don’t know, but I’m about to find out. The bottom end of the spring, shaped rather like a spear, gouges into the tyre and instantly shreds it.
Thankfully, the worst thing was the fright (pucker factor 9). The 25-minute wait for the RAC recovery vehicle. And the garageinvoice; still to be received.
THANK YOU
Many thanks to Peter Willats. Peter, you may remember, has a house on the channel island of Sark, and he kindly invited myself (though God knows why) and some of the world’s top mind readers – including Luke Jermay, Bannachek, Ian Rowland and John Archer, to the island. He is a remarkably generous, and kind-hearted, soul. Recently, I received a package from him in which there was a copy of the DVD “Nightmare Alley”. Quite simply, he said “Saw this and thought of you”. A lovely gesture, well appreciated. Thank you, Peter.
THIS MONTH
I saw in the New year at DUNKELD HILTON HOTEL, complete with fireworks, a piper, a band, horizontal rain, gale-force winds, flooding and even an impressive landslide a little way up the glen. Despite the weather, there was a quick dash down the A9 the following morning for my annual gig at MELVILLE CASTLE on January 1. And great fun it was, too.
Then it was off to CRAIGELLACHIE in Speyside for an alcohol-fuelled get-together organised by my old (some of them now VERY old) paragliding buddies.
Other gigs included AIRTH CASTLE, two cracking gigs at ST ANDREWS – thank you John Collier for arranging that - a Burns Supper in WHITBURN, a charity gig at ELGIN TOWN HALL – with the two Allans from Magico (I was auctioned off, which raised £550.) They must be mad! Then there was the NORTH BERWICK Marine Hotel, the SHERATON HOTEL in Edinburgh – along with with Derek Heron, Kevin McMahon and Colin McLeod. And it was all rounded of with a gig at DUNBLANE HYDRO.
Busy month, huh?
ON YER BIKE
I’m just about to embark on a training programme for a charity bike run – more news of that later. David Todd of Full Circle graphics will be accompanying myself and other riders when we cycle from London to Paris in May – Hey! Paris in the the Spring! Okay, it didn’t look far on the map, so I was a bit concerned when I got through the schedule to realise I was going to have to do 100 miles on the first day alone! (I am hoping that some of that includes crossing the Channel on the ferry, but considering I’ve hardly been on a bike since I was fifteen, this is going to be a hard one!) Do they sell bottom ointment. D’ys know?
DEFINITIONS
I love words, and one kind reader took the time to send me this. Enjoy...
Coffee (n.): a person who is coughed upon. Flabbergasted (adj.): appalled over how much weight you have gained. Abdicate (v.): to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. Esplanade (v.): to attempt an explanation while drunk. Willy-nilly (adj.): impotent. Lymph (v.): to walk with a lisp.
Gargoyle (n.): an olive flavoured mouthwash.
Flatulence (n.): the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller. Balderdash (n.): a rapidly receding hairline. Testicle (n.): a humorous question on an exam. Oyster (n.): a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions. Pokemon (n): A Jamaican proctologist. Frisbeetarianism (n.): the belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there. Circumvent (n.): the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
VIDEOS WORTH WATCHING.
The exquisite art of the Silhouette Cutter – whose name, in this case is respected caricaturist Brian Morrison. I’ve had the pleasure of working with Brian on a few occasions, and have one of these silhouettes of myself. He does them in less than 90 seconds! You can see it here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QdZlVvqnHtk
Dropped from a helicopter above a mountain peak, this guy FLIES! Astonishing footage. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avQaR4sQ4Ng
And here’s one you really need to see to believe. Imagine, a young lad – a savant. After a 45-minute helicopter ride over Rome, he takes five days and a massive piece of paper, to draw an exact replica of the city.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0TibQ_1zH3U
ARCARI ON GUITAR
I am reliably informed that The December/January issue of Blues Matters! Magazine has aneight-page interview/feature on Dave Arcari. Oh, and the production company handling a special BBC Radio Scotland programme he’s fronting have arranged a show at The Globe Inn, Dumfries on Saturday 3 March (approx 8pm) which will be recorded live to be used in the programme. According to Dave: “The production sees me presenting a travelogue around Robert Burns, the union and stuff all based round my re-working the bard's Parcel of Rogues into an Arcari-esque blues stomp.” Yep. That works for me!.
WOMEN ARE SMART
A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady 40 miles per hour.The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks across at her. “I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce."
The wife says nothing, but keeps looking at the road ahead but increases her speed to 45 mph. The husband speaks again. "I don't want you to try and talk me out of it," He says, "because I've been having an affair with your best friend, And she's a far better lover than you are."
Again the wife stays quiet, but grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 55. He pushes his luck. "I want the house," he says insistently...Up to 60."I want the car, too," he continues.
65mph."And," he says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat!"
The car veers towards a massive concrete bridge. This makes him nervous, so he asks her, "Isn't there anything you want?"
The wife replies in a quiet and controlled voice. "No, I've got everything I need."
"Oh, really," he inquires, "so what HAVE you got?"
Just before they slam into the wall at 70 mph, the wife turns to him and smiles."The airbag."ENDS
CLOSE ONE
THANK YOU (PETER WILLATS)
THIS MONTH
ON YER BIKE – THE ADVENTURE BEGINS
DEFINITIONS
VIDEOS WORTH WATCHING. Brain Morrison, Flying and An Amazing Mind
ARCARI ON GUITAR
WOMEN ARE SMART
NEW WEB SITE
Hey, hey – I have a new website, loving designed and executed by the very talented chaps at Ideas.co.uk in Falkirk. You can even access the videos from one of the pages. DO have a look, and let me know what you think. www.mindplay.co.uk
CLOSE ONE
just today, it’s the last day of the month and I’m driving along the A71 – doing around 60. Unbeknown to me, the suspension spring is broken. I don’t know, but I’m about to find out. The bottom end of the spring, shaped rather like a spear, gouges into the tyre and instantly shreds it.
Thankfully, the worst thing was the fright (pucker factor 9). The 25-minute wait for the RAC recovery vehicle. And the garageinvoice; still to be received.
THANK YOU
Many thanks to Peter Willats. Peter, you may remember, has a house on the channel island of Sark, and he kindly invited myself (though God knows why) and some of the world’s top mind readers – including Luke Jermay, Bannachek, Ian Rowland and John Archer, to the island. He is a remarkably generous, and kind-hearted, soul. Recently, I received a package from him in which there was a copy of the DVD “Nightmare Alley”. Quite simply, he said “Saw this and thought of you”. A lovely gesture, well appreciated. Thank you, Peter.
THIS MONTH
I saw in the New year at DUNKELD HILTON HOTEL, complete with fireworks, a piper, a band, horizontal rain, gale-force winds, flooding and even an impressive landslide a little way up the glen. Despite the weather, there was a quick dash down the A9 the following morning for my annual gig at MELVILLE CASTLE on January 1. And great fun it was, too.
Then it was off to CRAIGELLACHIE in Speyside for an alcohol-fuelled get-together organised by my old (some of them now VERY old) paragliding buddies.
Other gigs included AIRTH CASTLE, two cracking gigs at ST ANDREWS – thank you John Collier for arranging that - a Burns Supper in WHITBURN, a charity gig at ELGIN TOWN HALL – with the two Allans from Magico (I was auctioned off, which raised £550.) They must be mad! Then there was the NORTH BERWICK Marine Hotel, the SHERATON HOTEL in Edinburgh – along with with Derek Heron, Kevin McMahon and Colin McLeod. And it was all rounded of with a gig at DUNBLANE HYDRO.
Busy month, huh?
ON YER BIKE
I’m just about to embark on a training programme for a charity bike run – more news of that later. David Todd of Full Circle graphics will be accompanying myself and other riders when we cycle from London to Paris in May – Hey! Paris in the the Spring! Okay, it didn’t look far on the map, so I was a bit concerned when I got through the schedule to realise I was going to have to do 100 miles on the first day alone! (I am hoping that some of that includes crossing the Channel on the ferry, but considering I’ve hardly been on a bike since I was fifteen, this is going to be a hard one!) Do they sell bottom ointment. D’ys know?
DEFINITIONS
I love words, and one kind reader took the time to send me this. Enjoy...
Coffee (n.): a person who is coughed upon. Flabbergasted (adj.): appalled over how much weight you have gained. Abdicate (v.): to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. Esplanade (v.): to attempt an explanation while drunk. Willy-nilly (adj.): impotent. Lymph (v.): to walk with a lisp.
Gargoyle (n.): an olive flavoured mouthwash.
Flatulence (n.): the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller. Balderdash (n.): a rapidly receding hairline. Testicle (n.): a humorous question on an exam. Oyster (n.): a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions. Pokemon (n): A Jamaican proctologist. Frisbeetarianism (n.): the belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there. Circumvent (n.): the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
VIDEOS WORTH WATCHING.
The exquisite art of the Silhouette Cutter – whose name, in this case is respected caricaturist Brian Morrison. I’ve had the pleasure of working with Brian on a few occasions, and have one of these silhouettes of myself. He does them in less than 90 seconds! You can see it here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QdZlVvqnHtk
Dropped from a helicopter above a mountain peak, this guy FLIES! Astonishing footage. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avQaR4sQ4Ng
And here’s one you really need to see to believe. Imagine, a young lad – a savant. After a 45-minute helicopter ride over Rome, he takes five days and a massive piece of paper, to draw an exact replica of the city.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0TibQ_1zH3U
ARCARI ON GUITAR
I am reliably informed that The December/January issue of Blues Matters! Magazine has aneight-page interview/feature on Dave Arcari. Oh, and the production company handling a special BBC Radio Scotland programme he’s fronting have arranged a show at The Globe Inn, Dumfries on Saturday 3 March (approx 8pm) which will be recorded live to be used in the programme. According to Dave: “The production sees me presenting a travelogue around Robert Burns, the union and stuff all based round my re-working the bard's Parcel of Rogues into an Arcari-esque blues stomp.” Yep. That works for me!.
WOMEN ARE SMART
A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady 40 miles per hour.The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks across at her. “I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce."
The wife says nothing, but keeps looking at the road ahead but increases her speed to 45 mph. The husband speaks again. "I don't want you to try and talk me out of it," He says, "because I've been having an affair with your best friend, And she's a far better lover than you are."
Again the wife stays quiet, but grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 55. He pushes his luck. "I want the house," he says insistently...Up to 60."I want the car, too," he continues.
65mph."And," he says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat!"
The car veers towards a massive concrete bridge. This makes him nervous, so he asks her, "Isn't there anything you want?"
The wife replies in a quiet and controlled voice. "No, I've got everything I need."
"Oh, really," he inquires, "so what HAVE you got?"
Just before they slam into the wall at 70 mph, the wife turns to him and smiles."The airbag."ENDS
December 2006
I’d like to share with you just what a wonderful year it’s been. Over the past 12 months I’ve performed at everything from a masked ball near Aberfoyle to a beach on St Lucia for some new Rastafarian friends. I’ve had the pleasure of performing from as far North as Inverness, to as far South Kent. Schools, swanky hotels and castles. There’s been TV work – including a guest spot on Ready Steady Cook. Five weeks out of the year was spent in the Caribbean - from Florida, south to Trinidad, and a point just off the coast of Venezuela. So many wonderful, wonderful experiences.
I’ve spent time in the company of some of my heroes, including Steve Harley, Paul Zenon, Marc Paul, Ian Rowland, Marc Salem, Buzz Aldin(?), Quincy Jones, Barry Cryer, Andrea Bocelli and Uri Geller. There have been wonderful celebrations with wonderful friends - and VERY talented people – including Colin McLeod, Gavin James, Don Jack, Dave Cairns, Len Murray, and Dave Arcari... actually, waaay too many to mention. There has been ANOTHER grandchild (Billy): the making of new friends and reunions with old friends.
My wish from last year came true, so I’m making the same wish this year. “The joy of coming into contact with new people with new stories, from the celebrities to the waiting staff and stage engineers. Fellow performers and speakers - new friends, who hopefully will become old friends - and old friends who made this year so deliciously sweet. I only wish I could have spent more time with you than I have.”
Oh, if only I had the time to call each one of you and thank you personally. But believe me, your friendship is incredibly precious to me. Thank you, one and all.
If you know me at all, and we have met on the circuit - or spoken at length in person or on the telephone – the above is meant for you.
I am a very, very lucky man.
I’ve spent time in the company of some of my heroes, including Steve Harley, Paul Zenon, Marc Paul, Ian Rowland, Marc Salem, Buzz Aldin(?), Quincy Jones, Barry Cryer, Andrea Bocelli and Uri Geller. There have been wonderful celebrations with wonderful friends - and VERY talented people – including Colin McLeod, Gavin James, Don Jack, Dave Cairns, Len Murray, and Dave Arcari... actually, waaay too many to mention. There has been ANOTHER grandchild (Billy): the making of new friends and reunions with old friends.
My wish from last year came true, so I’m making the same wish this year. “The joy of coming into contact with new people with new stories, from the celebrities to the waiting staff and stage engineers. Fellow performers and speakers - new friends, who hopefully will become old friends - and old friends who made this year so deliciously sweet. I only wish I could have spent more time with you than I have.”
Oh, if only I had the time to call each one of you and thank you personally. But believe me, your friendship is incredibly precious to me. Thank you, one and all.
If you know me at all, and we have met on the circuit - or spoken at length in person or on the telephone – the above is meant for you.
I am a very, very lucky man.
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